I’m not exactly sure what it is about conversations with my friends and family, but we seem to have quite the history of misunderstanding each other. This goes back at least 31 years to the night my brother asked my dad if he could have herpes as his dessert.

Just the other day my coworker and friend, Katie, and I were having a conversation at work. Katie was standing about 3 feet away from me in my cube when the following took place:

Katie: If I can ever do a FADE project here I’d like it to be on inter-department communications.
Me: A fake project? Why would you do that as a fake project? That could have some really great implications for us.
Katie: No. A FADE project.
Me: OH Ya. That makes total sense.
Katie: But ya know, figs are good too.They’ve got a lot of fiber. Plus, they’re a little sweet. It’s cake AND it’s a cookie.
Me: WTF are you talking about?
Katie: Fig Newtons. They’re great. They’re cake AND cookies. You know, from the commercial?!
Me: What does that have to do with FADE or fake projects???
Katie: Fake projects? I thought you said FIG projects. It’s a game of Telephone just between us standing 3 feet apart.

Just another day at work.

Today at lunch, I had to run to Walgreens. As I stepped out of my car, I called my mom to see if she needed anything that I could bring her tomorrow. This is the conversation we had:

Me: Do you need anything from Walgreens?
Mom: Yes. I need wall sex. It comes in purple packaging.
Me (as my head is exploding): YOU NEED WHAT AND IT COMES IN WHAT??????!!!!!!!
Mom: Wall sex. W-A-L-S-E-X.
Me (unable to speak): Uh huh. I’ll get right on that.

This is what she wanted.

Wal-Sex and Wal-Fex probably aren’t the same thing.
© 2013 Little Merry Sunshine

To be fair to my mom, I had her on speaker phone because among other things, I was at Walgreens to buy a new bluetooth.

Anyone know how to get rid of a brain worm (similar to an earworm, but I just made it up.)?

Yep. My life is just one big series of miscommunications.