Did I miss the memo that manners have gone out of style?

Yesterday afternoon I took my mom to see the movie The Judge starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Robert Duvall, in roles that should earn them both awards, in my humble opinion. Go see this movie, it’s phenomenal.

When we arrived I held doors for no less than five people, some young and some old. I waved an elderly woman out of a parking spot and let a few others walk by before I entered the spot. I let people with fewer items go in front of me at Petsmart earlier in the day. And after the movie, I stopped to inform a woman that her trunk was open at the gas station. Having manners is just the way my mama raised me. This will all make sense in a moment.

We typically go to late afternoon movies because they are less crowded, which makes life easier because my mom uses a walker. She can’t climb the stairs in theaters with stadium seating, so we always sit in the seats in the aisle that crosses the theater and are reserved for people with special needs and their companions. These seats are located smack in the middle of the width of the theater, I suppose for the best view, which is nice. It also leaves room on either side for wheelchairs or walkers.

For some reason, yesterday’s screening was very crowded with most seats taken. We arrived about five minutes before the previews began and got situated.

Just as the lights went down and the previews began, a woman about my age who was sitting directly behind me, shoved my seat and me forward and squeezed herself between my seat and the railing in front of the first row of stadium seats. She said nothing to me as she rushed out of the theater. I was stunned speechless and said nothing to her.

Once I regained my composure, I turned around, looked at the woman’s companion, now sitting alone, and said, “That was rude and I won’t be letting her back in.” Her reply was, “Everyone in our row is elderly! You want my friend to cut in front of them?” I turned back around saying nothing more. To silently answer her question, however, yes. I didn’t design movie theaters, but this is common practice.

A few minutes later, the woman returned, assuming she could once again climb over me to return to her seat. Again, she spoke no words. I, however, looked at her, and firmly said, “No.” “I can’t get through?,” she replied. I leaned back in my seat obviously serious.

Off she went mumbling, loudly enough for me to hear her, about how dare I make her squeeze through her row in front of elderly people and using a word or two that I won’t repeat in a family-friendly blog.

Once she was seated and because we were still in previews, I turned around and quietly said, “If you’d said ‘excuse me’ or asked my permission to begin with, I would have graciously let you through.” The woman’s friend loudly barked at me, “SHUT UP! TURN AROUND! AND WATCH THE MOVIE!” Everyone in their row was staring at me. I’m certain my face was bright red with embarrassment.

Throughout the movie, these two women, who again, were about my age, kept their feet firmly planted in the back of my seat. Sometimes they rocked it, while other times they simply made it impossible for me to sit back. Movie theaters, unlike airplanes, are made with plenty of leg room, especially in the first row of stadium seating, so there was no need for them to behave in such a boorish way. I ignored them because I have manners and I’d already been barked at once.

Is this behavior of hopping over people sitting in seats reserved for people with special needs (remember, I was my mom’s companion and her walker was quite obvious) common practice? When did it become gauche to ask permission, say “excuse me,” or apologize when you’ve inconvenienced someone? When did manners go out of style?

Although I was mad at the women and their behavior and it irritated me throughout the previews, which thankfully went on too long, I chose to focus on the nice day my mom and I were having. I also decided that their grotesque mean girl behavior was not a reflection on me, but entirely on them.

Even if adults acting childish and rude is suddenly in fashion, I choose good manners and kindness.

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