-
Sex Spreadsheets: Just Say NO!
By now you’ve heard or seen the story about the irritated husband who sent his wife a sex spreadsheet tracking all the times he’d tried to have sex with her over a seven week period and all of her excuses. In all, they had sex three times in seven weeks when the husband tried to initiate 27 times. It’s not clear to me whether the wife attempted to initiate sex or not.
I shared The Huffington Post sex spreadsheet story on my Facebook page the other day and it drew quite the conversation between my friends. We all agreed that the sex spreadsheet was outrageous, but there were a variety of reasons for why it was so over-the-top.
Today, I opened up The Huffington Post and guess what I found? If you guessed a sex spreadsheet made by a woman, you win. Note: As far as I can tell, these spreadsheets were not made by the same couple. I dug a bit deeper into the HuffPo article and found its source – a story on Guyism.com, which has more information.
Sex spreadsheet from a woman detailing hubby’s excuses. Image from Guyism.com. Click on photo to be taken to the original. Just like the original spreadsheet created by a husband, this one detailed all of the times in a 30 day period that the wife initiated or indicated her desire for sex with her husband and all of his excuses or ways he turned her off.
Ugh. Just stop. Stop it right now. Enough.
These two sex spreadsheets tell us many things about how we view sex and many more that I don’t want to know about the sex lives of strangers.
- From these two spreadsheets, it appears that women want sex with their partner just as much as men want sex with their partner. Takeaway: We’re all equally horny.
- Rejection, whether verbally blatant or via non-verbal actions, feels shitty to both men and women.
- That rejection leads to serious resentment and it builds up over time.
- It’s easier to keep a sex spreadsheet about what’s wrong with the other person than to look inside of ourselves to see what role we are playing in our less than ideal sex life. Takeaway: We like being the victim rather than doing work on ourselves.
- It’s easier to make a sex spreadsheet than to have a conversation.
- In a committed relationship, people feel entitled to sex.
- An unhealthy sex life magnifies other problems in a relationship.
- Sex spreadsheets can and do get shared, which is a huge violation of privacy and one quick way to lose the trust of your partner.
- People do not communicate either because they don’t know how or they are too lazy.
- Some people simply are not sexually compatible, which is why I think it’s a good idea to have a few test drives before commitment.
I’m sure there are more lessons here, but ten seems like a good number.
Now maybe these people were in marriage counseling, discussing their sex life, and their therapist asked them to each keep some sort of journal about their sex life (or lack thereof) to discuss at a future session. I can sort of see how this could be a helpful tool to open discussion about improving intimacy. BUT both spouses would need to be willing to do the homework. The other caveat there should be that what happens in couples’ counseling (including the homework) stays in couples’ counseling. I want to hope that’s the case with these two spreadsheets, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on.
Can we all just agree that unless it’s done within the context of couples’ counseling, an MS Excel sex spreadsheet is a passive-aggressive way to express your desire for more intimacy is wildly inappropriate and is not going have the outcome you desire?
Can we all further agree that if we are ever presented with a sex spreadsheet or if we make one for any purpose that we will never share it on the internet? People who share such intimacies are Class A Douchebags, in my opinion.
If you’re unhappy with the quality of your sex life, have a conversation with your partner. Do it in a neutral place when you’re not trying to get laid. Don’t surprise him or her with the talk. Schedule it. Be open to the fact that your less than ideal sex life may have something to do with you too. Listen.
In spite of The Huffington Post’s declaration that sex spreadsheets are now a “thing,” I beg you not to do it.
Just say no to sex spreadsheets.
And if you need some tips on how to improve your sex life, go visit my fellow ChicagoNow blogger Red & Company. This woman knows what she’s talking about. She and her hubby took a 30-Day Sex Challenge and most recently, they have mapped out some fun while their kids are with the grandparents.
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Nana is gone, but she’s not forgotten
Five years ago tomorrow, on July 12, 2009, I received the phone call that I knew was coming, but was tough to receive nonetheless. Nana had passed away.
Of course, I knew it was inevitable and would be happening within days, but I really hoped she’d make it to her 93rd birthday six days later (she’d be 98 this year on July 18th) or at least until I arrived for a pre-planned visit a couple of days later. I just really wanted to be able to hold her hand and tell her I loved her one more time.
Although it’s five years later, I still miss her. I miss her smile. Her southern drawl. Her quirky ways that came from some horrific life experience that I didn’t understand when I was younger. The weekly letters with whatever cash she had in her wallet; sometimes just a couple of singles and sometimes $20, but she always wanted me to have a little cash. The boxes in the winter full of fresh white Florida grapefruit. Her annual birthday cards to Betsey and Ross, whom she loved like they were actual great-grandchildren rather than cats.
As I write this post, thinking about how much I miss her, I realize that even though she’s gone, she’s actually with me daily. I eat at her dining table. I use many of her pots, pans, and dishes. I have many family pictures from her home. My favorite pieces of furniture were Nana’s. Heck, I even wear her vintage hats.
I wore Nana’s 1950s or 1960s vintage hat as my 2014 Easter bonnet and it was a huge hit. In preparation for Nana’s passing away, I created a blog about her, called Remembering Frances. I continued to write it after her death with letters she’d written, a diary she kept while visiting Europe, and her fruitcake recipe. I wanted one place where I could find everything Nana related and one place where all of our friends and family could share their memories of her. I still go back and read those stories from time to time. I’ve also written about her in posts on my Original Little Merry Sunshine blog and here at the ChicagoNow Little Merry Sunshine.
I’ve had a few visits from Nana in the last five years (here, here, and here), and they’ve been wonderful, but nothing quite compares to what visits with her were actually like.
I sort of feel like she visited me again today. There’s a wonderful story in The Washington Post about Tarpon Springs, Florida, the town she worked in for 40 years and lived just down the street from for almost 55 years. The story, In Tarpon Springs, Fla., you can dive into all the flavors of Greece, sent me back to days of walking through the Sponge Docks with Nana, eating baklava, and meeting all of her Greek friends. There were always so many Greek friends all around her, that for the longest time, I thought we were Greek.
This weekend I’ll be spending some time with my mom on both Saturday and Sunday. In fact, I have a special surprise outing for us on Sunday that I think mom will really enjoy.
Take a peak through some of my favorite Nana pictures.
http://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Call me Jessica
My name is Jessica. More specifically, my name is Jessica Lynn Gardner.
I was given my first name in memory of my late grandfather, Jesse. We never met because he died on my mom’s 13th birthday.
Lynn, my middle name, is the first name of my mom’s best friend from college. They were roommates for at least their freshman year, although I think they were in the Alpha Delta Pi sorority and were roommates then too. Lynn also stood up in my parents’ wedding.
Why am I telling you all of this?
For some reason, I am frequently called Jennifer. By frequently, I mean at least a few times a week and sometimes daily.
Some people claim they make the mistake because my name is similar to the actress Jennifer Garner. Sure, I understand that. I’m sure people mistake her for me all the time too. But it’s been happening for far longer than she’s been a household name, so I don’t really think it has anything to do with her.
When I was a kid, Jessica was an out-of-the-ordinary name. You know all those name keychains, magnets, etc. that you see in dime stores (well, I just aged myself)? In the 1970s, they never had my name on them. That’s how unpopular my name was at the time. We’d search all the time, but never once found them.
According to BehindTheName.com, in 1971, Jessica was the #64 most popular girl name with 0.306% of all girls being named Jessica. Or 3,060 of every 1,000,000 babies was named Jessica in 1971. At the height of its popularity, in the 1987, Jessica was the #1 name for girls and was given to 2.989% of all girls. That works out to 28,980 out of 1,000,000 girls were named Jessica in 1987. (source)
When I was in school, teachers would call me Jennifer. For as long as I can remember, when I met new people they frequently call me Jennifer within minutes of learning my actual name. I’ve even been introduced to new people as Jennifer.
In a professional setting, this mistake happens regularly. The worst was when I was when a member of senior staff introduced publicly (to about 50 people) and called me by the wrong name. She had no idea that he’d done it and I felt about 1 inch tall, which would be about 62 inches shorter than my actual height of 5’3. I was new to the organization, already having second thoughts about having accepted the job, and cried all the way home that day.
People I’ve known my entire life, but whom I don’t see very often make the mistake too. Even a guy I was dating called me Jennifer, while we were dating. Want to guess how THAT went over?
Being called Jennifer used to really upset me. I couldn’t understand why people couldn’t remember my name. It made me feel invisible and like I was completely unmemorable. My body would physically tighten as the anxiety and humiliation of being called the wrong name quickly moved through me. I could feel my face turn bright red and I simply wanted to crawl into a hole. I had enough problems with self-esteem; I didn’t need people not being able to remember my name to make me feel worse about myself.
I don’t know why I physically felt so awful when people would introduce me to others using the wrong name, but I did. They usually didn’t even know they’d called me by the wrong name until I would say something like, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to correct you, but my name is actually Jessica.” Yep. I was apologizing for the other person’s mistake. And I felt like crap for doing so.
I’d like to tell you that I have always laughed off this mistake, but that would be lying. I haven’t always reacted well. Sometimes, in fact, I’ve reacted poorly with snark and sarcasm. I’m not proud of that. No matter how I reacted though, I always felt like crap inside. And that feeling would last for hours. Here’s just a sample of what went through my head on an endless loop:
- Why did the person make the mistake? There’s no good answer to this.
- Does the other person not care about me? Even if the answer is yes, I would answer no in my head.
- Didn’t I enunciate well when I initially introduced myself? No. I have no problem enunciating and I never mumble. Talking too softly is not something I’ve ever been accused of.
- Don’t I matter? Again, the answer to this goes downhill quickly.
Finally, I realized that other people not remembering my name is less about me and more about them. Jessica and Jennifer are both common names beginning with “J-e-double consonant-i-consonant-vowel.” It’s not so far fetched that people mix the two up. I’ve stopped apologizing for other people’s mistakes and laugh it off much more. I still correct people, but I no longer internalize it.
I’ve come to peace with my name and with people messing it up.
Just don’t call me Jennifer.
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Kickstarter potato salad campaign: Crazy or brilliant?
Help a guy lose his potato salad making virginity, won’t you? You’ve heard about that dude who created a Kickstarter potato salad campaign in hopes that he could raise $10. That’s right. When Zak Danger Brown start-up entrepreneur of Columbus, Ohio, hit that lofty goal, he said he’d make some potato salad. POTATO SALAD. The guy said he’s toss some boiled potatoes together in a tangy dressing if you gave him $10.
He’d like you to know that he’s a potato salad making virgin, so “it might not be that good.”
That’s all fine and well and good.
But you know what? With 24 days remaining in the campaign, the guy has raised more than $65,000. What’s worse? When this purely unbelievable campaign hit the media on Monday, the guy had only raised $23,000. He’s raked in more than $40,000 in just 24 hours. From more than 4,400 total strangers.
More than 4,400 people have donated an average of just about $15 each to this chump. What. The. Hell.
As Thomas Tusser famously told us in Five Hundreth Pointes of Good Husbandrie in 1573,
A foole & his money,
be soone at debate:
which after with sorow,
repents him to late.Or, to put it another way, “a fool and his money are soon parted.”
Who are all these people tossing their money at a Kickstarter potato salad campaign? There are a lot of hungry people in this world and I hope that, in addition to tossing money at a stranger for such a ridiculous stunt, they’re also giving money to their local food pantries.
Let’s be clear, I’m not anti-potato salad. In fact, I’m quite the fan. Just ask my hips. I love some good potato salad.
What’s got me all riled up about this campaign is that Kickstarter is a website to fund legitimate and innovative projects, often artists trying to record their first album, create a film, or publish a book, etc. You may be familiar with the recent Veronica Mars Movie. The creation of that movie was funded through Kickstarter.
In my opinion, making potato salad, while technically allowed under the three Kickstarter rules, seems to at least thumb its nose at the spirit of Kickstarter. If the guy had simply raised $10 and ended his campaign, I wouldn’t find this abhorrent in anyway. I’d say it’s a creative, if silly, use of Kickstarter.
But because Mr. Brown has raised such an excessive amount of money and because he’s offered no explanation as to what he’s going to do with his money other than throw a party; send out t-shirts, hats, photos, signed jars of mayonnaise, and cookbooks; buy pizza; host a website; and livestream making potato salad, I question the legitimacy of this project. Oh, it’s also getting Kickstarter a ton of free publicity because of all the media coverage on CNET, Ohio’s ABC6 tv station, Slate, Forbes, and much more.
Even after he pays for and sends out all of the rewards he offers to his generous donors, it seems like Mr. Brown will have a heck of a lot of money left over. What’s he going to do with it all? Will he pocket the leftover money? Will he take the money and invest it into his web design start-up? We don’t know. He’s keeping silent.
Kickstarter says it’s perfectly okay to make a profit on projects. And, yes, in general, I’m in favor of making money. I just don’t understand excessive profits.
Now, maybe, he is planning on giving the money to charity. Maybe a food bank. But Kickstarter expressly prohibits the creation of campaigns to raise money for charity (Rule #3), so it’s possible that’s why he’s keeping quiet. I hope so. I really hope that at the end of all this on August 2nd, Mr. Brown turns over 100% of the money not needed, to make the four batches of potato salad he’s promised and provide all the thank you swag, to a charity that provides food to people in need.
If that’s what his plan is, I support this campaign 100% and I will think it’s the greatest thing ever. I will applaud the way he skirted the Kickstarter rules to do something for the greater good.
Until then, I’m going to be skeptical and wonder if this whole thing isn’t just a cheap way to get a ton of publicity (and money) for his start-up company, which I won’t name or link to here.
In other equally awesome news, two other guys have promised to make coleslaw if you give them money. Talk about riding someone’s coattails. You can check them out here and here.
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Children and pets in hot cars: Name two things that will make me bust your car window
By now you’ve undoubtedly heard the tragic story about the Georgia dad, Justin Ross Harris, whose son recently died when Justin Ross Harris left the child in his car while he was at work. This story breaks my heart and reminds me of an incident from the Summer of 2012 involving a dog left in a sweltering car outside a local bar.
In case you don’t remember the Summer of 2012 in Chicago, it was H.O.T. In fact, a chilly day was when the mercury topped out at 102F. Most days the thermometer ranged somewhere between “fry eggs on the bare sidewalk” and “sweat your deodorant off by 9:00 a.m. and stink all day.” It was miserable.
One particular evening, a girlfriend and I decided to meet up at our favorite watering hole after work for some icy beverages. When I arrived, shortly after 5:00 p.m., my friend had already arrived and was completely distraught. It only took a moment for me to discover the cause of her distress was the cutest little dog you’d ever seen sitting in a locked car.
As I mentioned, it was hot. On this day, it was so hot that inhaling felt like swallowing fire or what I imagine that feels like.
So there was this dog in a stifling car, no owners to be found, and it was crazy hot. In fact, there was an oven thermometer sitting on the dashboard and it was registering somewhere around the 130F mark. At 5:00 p.m. sitting out of direct sunlight it was 130F in the car.
We knew we had to do something. But what? We started by attempting to get into the car, but every door was locked. We didn’t want to break in because we were worried we’d get arrested. I was having a bad week and the last thing I needed was to be arrested for attempting to be a good person. The dog was responsive to us and wagging its tail, but we knew that in that car with its leather seats, the dog wouldn’t last long. I headed into the bar to find the owner and my friend stayed with the dog.
The bar owners were super nice and quickly dispatched the wait staff to query every table to find the car and dog owner. Unfortunately, I returned to my friend a few minutes later, without an owner. No one had stepped up. I went back and forth between the bar and my friend a few times, each time returning without the owner.
After what was probably my fourth back-and-forth, I walked outside to find my friend standing with the dog on its leash under the bar’s awning. It seems she had maneuvered her arm inside the open window and was able to unlock the door. Ya, my friend has super skinny arms, but we won’t hate her for that. Although it appeared unharmed, the dog clearly needed water, so off I went back inside in search of water.
This time, the bar’s owners came outside with me and a huge bucket of water. To this day, I’ve never seen a dog so happy for water. My friend and I stood talking to the bar owners for quite awhile debating whether to call the cops or not.
Seconds after we decided to call 911, but prior to actually making the call, out walked the dog’s owners who were none too pleased with us. In fact, they were pretty pissed off. The woman claimed that her dog was used to sitting in a hot car for hours because they were from California and she and her dog had just arrived at O’Hare, where, of course, the dog had flown across country in the cargo hold. They’d stopped at the bar on their way back to the naval base, where her boyfriend was stationed, because she was hungry and the dog was just fine and dandy hanging out in the car.
We informed her that in spite of what she may or may not do in California, it was far too hot to leave a dog in a car that was 130F, and that in Illinois, it was illegal to leave children and pets in cars during this weather.
She kept yelling at us and telling us that her dog was none of our business and that we were out of line for being good samaritans, but it took her a few minutes to realize that my friend had managed to get the dog out of a locked car. Fortunately, the bar owners had remained outside and backed up our story that we had attempted to find them before entering their car. Finally, the owners left with the dog, but not before telling us that if they ever saw us again, we’d be in big trouble.
Although I’ve always felt good about getting the dog out of the car and looking for the owner, I’ve always felt like we failed the dog that day.
Why do I feel that way?
We hemmed and hawed about calling the police because we were scared for our own hides and we let the owners take the dog home.
If I were to come across an animal or a child in a locked car today, even one with the window cracked, I wouldn’t hesitate to call 911, get the child or animal out of the car by any means necessary including breaking a window, and I’d ask questions last.
Too many children and animals have died in hot cars 2014 and we’re only half-way through the summer. We’ve still got to get through the Dog Days of August (no pun intended).
I’m tired of waking up to the news that a child or pet has died because a parent forgot, had no child care options and could not take the child to work or an interview, or because the parent was tired of being a parent. There’s a special place in Hell for that last category of parents.
It’s simple: Children and pets in hot cars don’t mix. Not even for 5 minutes.
As someone without kids, I don’t understand forgetting kids or pets in the car. I panic when I think I might have let one of my cats wander into my closet and forgot to get them out before leaving for the day. Never mind that those little suckers can open my closet door on their own and regularly let themselves in and out. I’m known for returning to check the toaster, oven, microwave, and iron, even when I haven’t used any of them before leaving. I’m not judging, mind you, I simply don’t understand.
Put your purse, shoes, phone, or other “can’t live without it” item (although, seriously, shouldn’t a kid or a pet be this item?) in your backseat to prevent you from forgetting your child or pet. Or make your very own E-Z Baby Saver, invented by a 10-year-old, who is generously sharing his invention with the world for free because it’s more important to him that kids live than for him to make a buck.
Whatever it takes, get in the habit of double and triple checking your backseat for stray kids or pets. Even when your car is parked safely at home, lock it, so no one gets in by accident.
If I walk by your car and see a child or pet, I’m busting in and asking questions later. You’ve been warned.
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Happy Birthday America . . . and Betsey and Ross!
Like many of you, I will be celebrating all of the freedoms our ancestors fought for some 238 years ago. This post isn’t about America because High Gloss and Sauce has that covered. Go read her post. I’ll be right here. Seriously, she’s awesome and her blog is super witty. I’ve got a big girl crush on her. If I was a mom, I’d want to be as cool as she is. Oh, who am I kidding? I just want to be half as cool as she is without little kiddos running around.
Anyway, there’s another very important holiday that we are celebrating in the Little Merry Sunshine house today. Eighteen years ago today, according to best estimates, Betsey and Ross were born.
What did I just hear you think?
Who are Betsey and Ross?
Oh, dear.
All right, let’s do some quick time travel to 1996 when the U.S. of A. was a spry 220 and I was living in Washington, D.C.
After a months-long campaign for me to get a pet, my friend Karen had almost convinced me that I should adopt a cat. I had never had a pet before, not even a gerbil, so this was a big commitment for me to consider. She found a nice guy in Upper Northwest who was looking to find a good home for two kittens. The mom of these kittens had adopted him shortly after giving birth to three babies, but he already had a cat and could not take on four more.
So one night in late August, Karen, my friend Kelly, and I hopped into my Mazda and went to meet this man and his menagerie of cats and kittens. For someone who’d never had pets before, it’s embarrassing how quickly I fell in love with a black and white boy and a tabby girl. I knew those kitties were mine within seconds and spent the next hour explaining to the man how I, with zero preparations or knowledge of cats, would be a good forever home for his adopted babies.
Karen and Kelly, who were longtime cat owners, helped me convince him that they’d be heavily involved and teach me everything I needed to know. He bought our schtick and off we went with these unnamed kittens.
The kittens and I quickly settled into a routine, but they needed names. I did what anyone in political wonk in D.C. would do . . . I held a primary and general election. Friends submitted name ideas and those names went into the primary. The top vote getters faced off in the general election a few days later. Unlike what would happen just four years later in Florida, we had no hanging chads or election disputes. The election was held via the very secure email servers of our mutual employer. It was all very official.
Due to the fact that the kittens were estimated to have been born on July 4, 1996 in Washington, D.C., one set of names was the far and away winner: Betsey and Ross.
Betsey and Ross were almost 16 when they died on March 23, 2012. (Read their obituary.) They lived a wonderful life that we celebrate each year on July 4th.
So happy birthday America. You’re awesome.
But for me, today will always be about the two kittens who made me a crazy cat lady.
Happy birthday Betsey and Ross. I still miss you, but you’d be happy that I finally got past my grief and can remember only your love and the wonderful 16 years we had together. Thank you for letting me be your mom for almost 16 years.
Enjoy this slide show of my first babies.
https://photos.gstatic.com/media/slideshow.swf
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
A life of Triumph: How this wonderful car helped my family through our grief
My late Uncle Ray loved cars. Well, that’s not quite accurate. He loved Triumph cars. In my entire life, I don’t think there was ever a time he didn’t own at least one. The stories of Uncle Ray and his Triumphs were the stuff of legends.
Restoring Triumph cars was one of the many ways he spent time with his kids. Frankly, his love for his kids and all the ways he demonstrated that love was the thing I admired most about him. They spent hours, probably adding up to years, rebuilding old Triumphs. I imagine the conversations they had, the memories they made, and the bonds they formed. Actually, I don’t have to imagine the bond. I’ve seen it and can tell you that every child should grow up with a father-child relationship like Uncle Ray had with his kids.
After Uncle Ray’s Celebration of Life, the entire extended family returned to his home to continue sharing stories and memories and reconnecting as a 21st century family whose lives are spread across 13 states. If I included the family members not in attendance, we’d have to add another dozen states and two countries to that list.
The first stop at Uncle Ray’s house was the garage that housed three of his Triumphs. We oohed and ahhed over their beauty and the attention to detail that Uncle Ray and our cousins gave to restoring these fine masterpieces of years gone by. Even me, as a non-car person, could not help but be seduced by their sexiness. There was a 1955 Triumph TR2 that was navy blue with tan leather interior, a cream colored 1967 Triumph TR4A, and a red 1960s Triumph Spitfire still in the process of being restored.
Much to my surprise, my cousin Andy opened the garage door and pulled two of the Triumphs out into the street, where, without hesitation, he offered everyone the opportunity to drive the TR2 and TR4A. My knees melted. I knew I had to ride shotgun in these cars. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I was not going to miss. I may not be a car person, but I’m no fool.
Every one of us took a turn. From my dad to my 19-month-old cousin Charlotte. Everyone rode in and/or drove at least one of the Triumphs. We drove the Triumphs through the subdivision, over the hills, and around the cul-de-sac. They live out in the country, so this was much further than it sounds. At first, we all drove a bit hesitatingly, not quite sure of the power of these cars and not wanting to do any damage. These were rare antique sports cars, after all. By the time we each rounded that first curve, though, we all found our grooves and our speeds picked up.
We talked as we drove. Our hair blew in the wind. Our laughter bellowed throughout the streets.
After riding in both the TR2 and TR4A, I decided I couldn’t walk away without driving them as well. Trust me, driving those cars was exhilarating and I did not want to get out. We’ll just ignore the fact that I almost couldn’t get out of the TR2.
As I drove the 1955 Triumph TR2, my favorite of the two, it occurred to me that driving these cars was the most fitting way to celebrate Uncle Ray. If an afterlife exists, Uncle Ray was no doubt tinkering with a Triumph, sipping a beer, and smiling with his huge full-face grin knowing that that his passion eased the grief of all of his loved ones.
Enjoy the gallery below.
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Love letter to my tears
June is almost over. And thank goodness for that.
Between the five weeks my mom was in the hospital and one week in a rehab facility, my 43rd birthday, and the sudden and unexpected death of my favorite uncle, it’s been a month I’m eager to see come to a close. That, of course, is on top of leaving my job in January, totaling my car in April, and a number of other personal matters I’ve kept to myself this year. 2014 just isn’t my year, so far.
Photo from: http://www.viralnovelty.net/5-health-benefits-crying/ I’m not a big crier and have mostly not shed a tear throughout the ordeal of the last six weeks. When I do cry, I do it completely alone and it’s awful.
Today I cried.
It happened pretty spontaneously as I pulled into my garage this morning. I had just picked up my mom from the rehab facility, where believe me, she wasn’t getting any care or rehab services whatsoever, dropped her off at her house in Arlington Heights, and driven back to my house in Lake Bluff to catch up on stuff I’d put on the back burner while I attended my uncle’s funeral and prepare for a job networking event this afternoon.
As I turned the corner into my subdivision, I felt my eyes well up and no amount of telling myself I didn’t have time for tears stopped the flow. The tears just came and came. And then the sobs started.
All of the emotions I’ve kept inside these past few weeks came pouring out of me with abandon. I could hardly see as I drove through my neighborhood and onto my street. My tears pooled up behind my sunglasses. It was bad.
As much as I wanted the tears to stop, I knew that I had an hour to fully experience my emotions and decided that feeling my feelings and grieving the loss of my uncle, mourning the dreams I am giving up in my mid-40s, and expressing my frustrations at the failed promises of the medical industry, was the healthiest thing I could do. Crying was self-care.
Psychology Today says that “emotional tears also contain stress hormones which get excreted from the body through crying.” For me, crying is cathartic and often makes me feel better. By the time I dried my tears, I had released my stress and anxiety, felt like a weight had been lifted from my body, and I knew that I could go back out into the world with my best face forward. And I was grateful for the ability to feel my emotions.
Although I’m not a fan of showing emotion, I can honestly say that I loved today’s tears.
————-
Tonight’s post is part of a monthly Blogapalooza where ChicagoNow bloggers are assigned a topic to blog about at 9:00 p.m. Our mission, if we choose to accept it, is to write about that topic and hit publish at 10:00 p.m. Tonight’s assignment:
Hey all,
Welcome to ChicagoNow’s Blogapalooz-Hour!
Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to publish a post in one hour. Here is tonight’s challenge:
“Write a love letter, but it can’t be to a person.”
Think outside the box: Can be a place, a time of day, a school, a book, an animal, a team, a word, a piece of furniture, your childhood blanket, your adult blanket … the options are endless.
Don’t bail because you can’t think of a good topic. The point of this exercise is to do it no matter what. Be creative, enjoy the process. Use words, images or video. Whatever you need to tell your story.
Be aware of the time. No matter when you finish, please wait until 10 p.m. to publish. Above all, please respect the deadline.
You have one hour.
Go.
Cheers,
Jimmy
Want to read the rest of our Blogapalooza posts? Check out the Storify.Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Q&A with a ChicagoNow blogger: Kathy Mordini of Raining Cats and Dogs
One of my favorite ChicagoNow bloggers is Kathy Mordini who writes Raining Cats and Dogs. Kathy loves animals and it brings her much agony to imagine cats and dogs being abused, living shortened lives in kill shelters, and being bred in the horrible puppy mill conditions. Through her blog, Kathy has increased awareness of these issues and saved lives.
Recently, Kathy and I had the opportunity to sit down and chat about her passion for animals and how she’s turned that into an incredibly successful blog that frequently lands in her the daily top 20 most read blogs of ChicagoNow, based on unique visitors. This is no small feat because there are 300 or so ChicagoNow bloggers. I’m sure you’ll agree that Raining Cats and Dogs needs to be on your “must read” list.
Little Merry Sunshine: What prompted you to start blogging?
Kathy: After years of working into sales and marketing, I wanted to move back into the direction of marketing communications. Through blogging, I’m able to write about something I’m passionate about while getting a stronger feel for social media and content marketing.
Little Merry Sunshine: When did you first become passionate about saving animals and was there a particular event that caused it?
Kathy: I’ve always had a love for animals and have had a cat or cats most of my life. I just never thought I had time to volunteer. After finishing my MBA while working full time, I realized I did have time and I started to volunteer at Heartland Animal Shelter in Northbrook. I developed their PR/Marketing plan and did community outreach for a couple of years.
Little Merry Sunshine: Is Raining Cats and Dogs on ChicagoNow your first blog or did you write it somewhere else (e.g., Blogger) or write another blog prior to joining ChicagoNow?
Kathy: I didn’t really blog before. I did have a freelance column for Examiner.com. I loved writing but there was no sense of community. That prompted me to give ChicagoNow a shot.
Little Merry Sunshine: What’s been the best part of writing as part of the ChicagoNow community?
Kathy: It truly is the community aspect. I learn so much from fellow bloggers in our Facebook group and was impressed early on with the large number of writers that are in the top 20 that engage and encourage. Since I’ve started my new job, I have less freedom to be online and miss that camaraderie.
Little Merry Sunshine: Do you have a favorite post? Why is it your favorite?
Kathy: My favorite is Five Minutes to Heartbreak. It was prompted by a picture a friend of mine who volunteers at Chicago Animal Care and Control posted on Facebook – a side by side of a happy dog and a devastated dog. The first picture was taken as she came into CACC and the second was five minutes later after being dumped by her family.
I wrote the post in a little over half an hour and posted it, then went off line the rest of the day. It just exploded and went viral on it’s own. To me, it illustrated the heartbreak we see in rescue everyday that people don’t think about when they get a pet and them dump him or her when they grow tired of having a pet. At an open access facility, the broken pets often lose their lives first because it’s hard to network out a terrified dog or cat.
Cindy, as she was called, was taken in quickly by Illinois Doberman Rescue Plus and she was adopted a month later. I did a follow up and she’s been named Rose. Her new family reads my blog and sends me a note from time to time. I repost this blog every couple of months as a reminder of pets left behind.
Little Merry Sunshine: What post has been your most successful post? What made it so successful?
Kathy: Michael Vick: Why we shouldn’t let it go.
When the Jets signed Vick earlier this year, my animal rescue friends were inflamed (again) and the so many people were responding to let it go. This was my response. Again, it was one I wrote to get something off my chest and then I posted it and turned on The Good Wife. It took off and had a life of it’s own – over 200,000 page views.
It was popular because people are so very torn on the issue. There are people that think he should be left alone because he did his time. To me, what he did was so inherently cruel that it’s beyond human decency. Also, I think he just doesn’t get or feel bad for what he did.
Little Merry Sunshine: What are your goals with Raining Cats & Dogs?
Kathy: My goal is to educate people about the animal rescue community and also to encourage more people to adopt. I hit a lot of issues, but I write more than anything about the pet store/puppy mill connection. My goal is to really focus more on the plight of cats…but the puppy mill stories and issues keep landing in my inbox and get me a lot of page views.
Little Merry Sunshine: Looking down the road a bit and in relation to your blog, where do you want to be in 5 years?
Kathy: My goal was to use the blog as a springboard to get a different job. I did that, starting a new position in late March. They knew about the blog and are with me on the puppy mills. Since it’s in the pet industry, they are behind me 100 percent…although not everyone in this industry is.
I volunteer for The Puppy Mill Project and was involved in the passing of the new ordinances in Chicago and Cook County that outlawed the sale of commercially bred cats and dogs in pet stores. The County ordinance is facing an amendment next week that would allow pet sales to continue. Work is also underway in Springfield on a similar measure. UPDATE: The amendment to the County ordinance has been put on hold.
A post I did a few weeks ago prompted a wave of calls to hit Springfield on SB648 – a bill that would have derailed a lot of rescue efforts. After my post, a powerful lawmaker got involved and the measure was tabled. I’m still shocked at the power of the blog.
I will continue to cover those issues and have thought about a book – I actually have a lot of ideas. I will just need to refocus to get some time to write.
Little Merry Sunshine: What are your interests outside of blogging? What do you do for fun?
Kathy: I volunteer for several pet organizations. I like to participate in activities that support that and love to travel and spend time with friends.
Little Merry Sunshine: What are your social media handles so people can connect with you?
Kathy: Facebook is Facebook.com/RainingCatsDogs; Twitter is @KathyMordini; Google+ is kathypetexam; Pinterest is Pinterest.com/KathyMordini; and of course, on ChicagoNow at ChicagoNow.com/Raining-Cats-Dogs.
Kathy lives on the North Shore with her husband and her two cats, Max and Ellie.
Thank you Kathy for all you do to save the lives of at-risk cats and dogs. By saving their lives and finding them forever homes, you are undoubtedly saving the lives of many people, as well.
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
A Life That’s Good – Official Little Merry Sunshine Theme Song
In early March, I wrote a post titled “What’s Your Theme Song?” I’d been thinking about creating a theme song for Little Merry Sunshine and for me because ChicagoNow Community Manager, Jimmy Greenfield, posted the question on Facebook. In that post, I toyed around with the idea of A Bushel and a Peck because Nana used to tell us that she loved us “a bushel and a peck” or Little Mary Sunshine (strongly NSFW) from the musical Reefer Madness.
Unfortunately, neither of those really felt right.
One of my brilliant and stunningly gorgeous readers (seriously, you should meet them) suggested some alternatives including Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves. I love this song. It’s fun, danceable, and you can’t help but smile widely and sing along when you hear it.
Still, something just wasn’t quite right about it for me.
So I’ve continued to ponder the whole theme song issue.
Finally, after three months of research, I am finally able to announce that Little Merry Sunshine has a theme song!
First the backstory: I’ve been spending a lot of time lately traveling between two hospitals – one in Hoffman Estates, Illinois and another in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. From my house, it’s an hour each way to each hospital, without traffic. During these trips, I’ve been listening to the Season 2 Nashville Soundtrack.
There was one song that I just kept repeating over and over again because it spoke to me and summed up how I wanted to feel about both situations that were fraught with emotions. I’ve listened to A Life That’s Good so many times that I hear it in my sleep and know all the words by heart. It occurred to me that the reason it resonates me with me so strongly is because it’s about what I believe is truly important in life: relationships, making a difference, and living a humble life.
It’s my theme song.
Give a listen to A Life That’s Good by Lennon and Maisy Stella who play Maddie and Daphne on the show. I think you’ll agree that it fits Little Merry Sunshine and me perfectly.
What’s YOUR theme song?
Like Little Merry Sunshine on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and see my pictures on Instagram to keep up with the latest goings on.
You can also receive immediate notification of each blog post by typing your email address in the box below and clicking the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Jessica L Gardner 