Jessica L Gardner

Making the world kinder everyday.

  • Life List Year 2: 250 New Experiences

    After a whirlwind 160 new experiences in 2013-14, I’ve upped the ante for my 2014-15 Life List and set a goal of having 250 new experiences. I’m 2 days into the new year with no new experiences. I suppose it’s time to get to work.

    A couple of people have asked me why it’s important for me to continue on this journey. I rocked my goal last year, they say. Why do I need to do it again and why do I have to have a specific number of new experiences I want to have in the year? The only answer that I can come up with is that by definition, I’m not repeating anything. These are all new experiences. I put a specific numerical goal on it again because I worry that if I don’t put some sort of definition to it, I’ll just lollygag around and my Bucket List will once again become a Someday List.

    In case you’ve forgotten, here are my “rules” for the Life List journey:

    1. New Experience is defined as an experience that is entirely new to me or one that I have not had for at least 10 years. Why 10 years? It’s approximately 1/4 of my life and if I haven’t done something in 10 years, it’s probably quite different from my memory and my experience today will be different than it was then.
    2. Research says that happiness is achieved by accumulating experiences not stuff, so my New Experiences are to be action-oriented and not about obtaining things. Sometimes an experience may include obtaining a tangible item though. For example, in 2013-14, I purchased a Jawbone UP24 that keeps me consciously aware of my physical activity and sleep (a new experience), so I counted that purchase as a new experience (#153 to be exact).
    3. New Experiences can happen in bundles and one new experience can have new experiences within it. For example, the first set of new experiences (# 2-7, 71, and 72 to be specific) last year all happened when I traveled to Nashville. Yes, everything I did there was new because I’d never been there before, but because I counted the trip as one experience and each of the things I did while there as separate experiences, I could go back and have additional new experiences.

    My journey. My rules. You can have your own rules for your journey.

    To make things easier for me this year, I’ve grouped my list of potential new experiences into buckets. See what I did there? Buckets on a Bucket List! Those buckets are Adventure, Arts & Entertainment, Community & Volunteerism, Foodie Joy, Health and Fitness, Personal & Professional Development, Silly, Travel, and Writing, Photography, & Crafts.

    I’ve also created a dedicated blog page, called Life List Year 2, to keep track of all my new experiences. Bookmark it to keep up with the latest. As I did this past year, I’ll often share the details of my experiences on Little Merry Sunshine, tweet, and post to Instagram and Facebook. I’ll use the hashtag #LifeListYear2.

    Without further ado, here’s my new Life List for 2014-15 as it stands today:

    Adventure

    1. Take a Lake Geneva Postal Boat Tour
    2. Stomp grapes
    3. Attend Red Bull Flugtag Chicago
    4. Go sailing
    5. Tour Wrigley Field
    6. Attend Sirens of the Deep Mermaid Camp at Weeki Wachee State Park
    7. See the Northern Lights. (#89 from 2013-14 List). Scheduled for August 2014.
    8. Ride a mechanical bull (#18 from 2013-14 List).
    9. Sing karaoke (#19 from 2013-14 List).
    10. Attend Chicago’s Gay Pride Parade on June 29, 2014.
    11. Learn to shoot a gun.
    12. “Earn” 5 Girl Scout badges from my 1980 Girl Scout Badges and Signs and 1977 Junior Badges and Signs handbooks and buy the badges on Ebay. Each badge will count as a separate new experience.
    13. Spend an hour in a floatation tank.
    14. Spend the night on the beach. Scheduled for August 2014.

    Arts & Entertainment

    1. Attend the Tornado and Severe Storm seminar at Femilab (#228 from 2013-14 List).
    2. Attend an On the Map House Concert at BB’s (#219 from 2013-14 List).
    3. Attend a baseball game at Milwaukee’s Miller Park (#20 from 2013-14 List).
    4. Attend a concert in Millennium Park (#17 from 2013-14 List).
    5. Attend a White Sox baseball game at US Cellular Field.
    6. See a movie at the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Scheduled for August 2014.
    7. Attend a taping of Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me (#1 from 2013-14 List).
    8. Visit the Museum of Science & Industry (#30 from 2013-14 List).
    9. Visit the Museum of Contemporary Art (#31 from 2013-14 List).
    10. Visit the National Museum of Mexican Art (#32 from 2013-14 List).
    11. Visit the Adler Planetarium (#33 from 2013-14 List).
    12. Visit the DuSable Museum of African American Art (#34 from 2013-14 List).
    13. Visit the Field Museum of Natural History (#35 from 2013-14 List).
    14. Visit the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum (#36 from 2013-14 List).
    15. Attend the Blue Man Group (#43 from 2013-14 List).
    16. See The Sound of Music at the Lyric Opera.
    17. Visit Chicago’s Chinatown (#45 from 2013-14 List).
    18. Attend The Thrilling Adventure & Supernatural Suspense Hour. Scheduled for April 26, 2014 with Alan, Jen, and Christopher.
    19. Tour the Chicago Board of Trade (#188 from 2013-14 List).
    20. Visit the Chicago Cultural Center (#127 from 2013-14 List).
    21. Go to the Green Mill (#115 from 2013-14 List).
    22. Visit the Pullman District in Chicago.
    23. Go on the Devil in the White City Chicago Architecture Foundation Tour.
    24. Watch every episode of How I Met Your Mother (I only started watching in the final season).
    25. Visit the historic Keith House.
    26. Attend a performance of Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind (#105 from 2013-14 List).
    27. Tour the House Museum in Rolling Meadows (#204 from 2013-14 List).
    28. See a show at Second City.
    29. Attend a Roller Derby.

    Community & Volunteerism

    1. Take the Food Stamp Challenge for one week and document it here.
    2. Perform a wedding (Anyone know anyone getting married who needs clergy?).
    3. Host a Navy Sailor for Thanksgiving (#76 from 2013-14 List).
    4. Provide an entire Christmas for a family in need (gifts, meal, and some decorations).
    5. Help 5 people have new experiences from their lists. If I haven’t done the new experiences I assist others have, they will count as separate new experiences here.
    6. Loan someone money on Kiva.
    7. Become a Girl Scout Life Member.
    8. Serve meals in a soup kitchen (#41 from 2013-14 List).
    9. Make and pass out 100 sandwiches to homeless people (#118 from 2013-14 List).
    10. Attend the 2014 Great Lakes Naval Station July 4th Festival. Scheduled for July 3-4, 2014.

    Foodie Joy

    1. Attend the 2014 Chicago Dinner in White (learn about the 2013 Dinner in White)
    2. Take the Chicago Chocolate Tour
    3. Try Cincinnati Skyline Chili
    4. Try Bacon on a Stick at the White Sox game.
    5. Have High Tea at the Drake (#39 from 2013-14 List).
    6. Have tea at Russian Tea Time.
    7. Dine at the HobNob Supper Club in Racine, Wisconsin (#60 from 2013-14 List).
    8. Make quinoa.
    9. Take the Metra to a new town just to have dinner.
    10. Learn to can.
    11. Learn to pour a perfect Guinness beer (#206 from 2013-14 List).
    12. Have dinner at Uncommon Ground (#203 from 2013-14 List).
    13. Visit Ikea and have a famous Ikea meatball (#182 from 2013-14 List).
    14. Have dinner at Carnivale (#123 from 2013-14 List).
    15. Drink a tropical drink out of a pineapple or coconut.
    16. Try a Cronut.
    17. Have dinner at Girl and the Goat.
    18. Make toasted coconut butter.
    19. Make homemade marshmallow Peeps.
    20. Make homemade marshmallows.

    Health & Fitness

    1. Visit and hike Green Point Dunes Nature Preserve. Scheduled for August 2014.
    2. Try Paddle Boarding. Scheduled for August 2014.
    3. Practice mindfulness and meditation for 30 days in a row, working up to 45 minutes of mindful meditation daily.
    4. Weigh 150 and have less than 20% body fat.
    5. Run the Bacon Chase 5K on June 7, 2014 (#22 from 2013-14 List).
    6. Bike the Drive.
    7. Bike around Upper Herring Lake.  Scheduled for August 2014.
    8. Climb Baldy the “back way” from M-22.  Scheduled for August 2014.
    9. Swim one mile without stopping (#10 from 2013-14 List).
    10. Take a golf lesson (#23 from 2013-14 List).
    11. Give up Diet Coke and all soda for one week (#37 from 2013-14 List).
    12. Drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water for one week (#38 from 2013-14 List).
    13. Take a class at the Chicago Trapeze School (#64 from 2013-14 List).
    14. Workout every day for a week (#80 from 2013-14 List).
    15. Enjoy a full spa day – mani/pedi, facial, massage, and who knows what else (#24 from 2013-14 List).
    16. Do a polar plunge (#28 from 2013-14 List).
    17. Hike the Des Plaines River Trail from Northbrook to Independence Grove in Libertyville.
    18. Hike or bike the Robert McClory Bike Path.
    19. Hike or bike the Green Bay Trail.
    20. Take a hot yoga class. (#205 from 2013-14 List).
    21. Make a snow angel (#179 from 2013-14 List).
    22. Walk 10,000 steps each day for a week (#178 from 2013-14 List).
    23. Walk 10,000 steps each day for a month.
    24. Earn a Jawbone UP badge for walking 1 million steps; that’s an average of 10,000 steps for 100 days (#197 from 2013-14 List).
    25. Sleep 8 hours nightly for a week (#177 from 2013-14 List).
    26. Earn a Jawbone UP badge for sleeping 1,000 hours.
    27. Earn a Jawbone UP badge for sleeping 2,000 hours.
    28. Go cross country skiing (#174 from 2013-14 List).
    29. Go dancing (#168 from 2013-14 List).
    30. Go sledding (#167 from 2013-14 List).
    31. Go ice skating at Lincoln Park Zoo (#157 from 2013-14 List).
    32. Get a mammagram (#142 from 2013-14 List).
    33. Complete the Plank Pose Challenge (Read the blog post; #125 from 2013-14 List).
    34. Ice skate a Millennium Park (#102 from 2013-14 List).
    35. Reach the top of a rock climbing wall (#99 from 2013-14 List).
    36. Eat organic for one week (#93 from 2013-14 List).
    37. Work out daily for a month.
    38. Go kayaking on the Chicago River.
    39. Walk the entire Chicago Pedway.
    40. Ride a segway.
    41. Ride a bike along the Chicago Lakefront.
    42. Ride a swing tower ride.
    43. Achieve both my step and sleep goals on the same day (10,000 steps and 8 hours of sleep).
    44. Hike the 38 Lake County Forest Preserve that I did not hike as part of the 2013-14 List.
    45. Try ear candling.

    Personal & Professional Development

    1. Increase my savings account my at least three months of expenses (#13 from 2013-14 List).
    2. Become CPR certified.
    3. Get a new job.
    4. Take an Ivy League class online (#25 from 2013-14 List).
    5. Get my personal email to #InboxZero (#66 from 2013-14 List).
    6. Open and stock my Etsy store, which is named Vintage Frances (#69 from 2013-14 List).
    7. Complete the 100 Happy Days Challenge I began on February 17, 2014. Read the blog post. (#189 from 2013-14 List).
    8. Take an IQ test.
    9. Apply for membership in Mensa (#173 from 2013-14 List).
    10. Become a notary public (#132 from 2013-14 List).
    11. Attend another religion’s religious holiday celebration (e.g., Passover seder) (#104 from 2013-14 List).
    12. Complete my household decluttering project (#101 from 2013-14 List).
    13. Work with professional stylist Sally McGraw of Already Pretty fame to take my personal style to the next level.
    14. Ask 5 people to each teach me something new. Each new thing will count as a separate new experience.
    15. Set calendar reminders to do monthly self-reviews at work and in life in general. Ask myself what am I doing well, what could be improved, what should I start doing, and what should I stop doing.
    16. Increase my income.
    17. Completely diversify my retirement portfolio with a financial advisor.
    18. Attend church at the First Presbyterian Church of Lake Forest (#140 from 2013-14 List).
    19. Attend church at Glencoe Union Church (#139 from 2013-14 List).
    20. Decorate my new office space with pretty and functional accessories.
    21. Really master the 40 Financial Things You Should Know by 40 list.

    Silly

    1. Visit the Fashion Outlets of Chicago Mall in Rosemont.
    2. Meet Captain Jim Lovell (#84 from 2013-14 List).
    3. Make snow from boiling water (#183 from 2013-14 List).
    4. Send a message in a bottle out into Lake Michigan or an ocean (#181 from 2013-14 List).  Scheduled for August 2014.
    5. Bury a time capsule (#180 from 2013-14 List).
    6. Blow bubbles
    7. Build a snowman
    8. Participate in a snowball fight
    9. Build a sandcastle. Scheduled for August 2014.
    10. Have a fish pedicure.
    11. Set a dandelion on fire.

    Travel

    1. Visit New Orleans, LA
    2. Volunteer to decorate the White House for Christmas
    3. Visit Cincinnati
    4. Visit Washington D.C.
    5. Stay in a tree house.
    6. Take a spur of the moment weekend trip to an unknown city using airline miles for my birthday.
    7. Take a day trip to Galena, Illinois. (#49 from 2013-14 List).
    8. Ride an entire Metra line from start to finish.
    9. Be an Amtrak Resident (Application submitted March 30, 2014; #200 from 2013-14 List).
    10. Stay at a bed and breakfast.

    Writing, Photography, & Crafts

    1. Write a book about my 2013-14 100 New Experiences
    2. Participate in #FMSPhotoADay Challenge for 30 days and post the photos on Instagram.
    3. Take a pottery class.
    4. Participate in Ragdale’s Summer Retreat, July 18-20, 2014.
    5. Re-read Little Women (#47 from 2013-14 List).
    6. Re-read the Little House on the Prairie books. (#47 from 2013-14 List).
    7. Re-read the Anne of Green Gables books (#47 from 2013-14 List).
    8. Take a painting class (#170 from 2013-14 List).
    9. Take flute lessons (#70 from 2013-14 List).
    10. Write and mail 52 snail mail letters of gratitude.
    11. Mail out all Christmas and Holiday cards on the day after Thanksgiving.
    12. Read The Feminine Mystique (#145 from 2013-14 List).
    13. Build a futon (#138 from 2013-14 List).
    14. Learn to knit (#122 from 2013-14 List).
    15. Make curtains for my guest room/office (#119 from 2013-14 List).
    16. Complete an A to Z photography project. Document on Instagram or Pinterest.
    17. Paint the backsplash in my kitchen.
    18. Finish reupholstering my dining room chairs. I started this in May 2013.

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  • DONE: 1 Year, 160 New Experiences

    DONE: 1 Year, 160 New Experiences

    One year ago today I set out on what I believed to be an incredibly ambitious journey and one that I wasn’t sure I could complete. Today I celebrate the successful completion of that journey and reflect on the lessons I’ve learned and the new person I’ve become.

    My life was in a rut, both personally and professionally; I had become a shadow of my former strong, independent, happy, spontaneous, adventurous, take-no-prisoners self and I had lost confidence in myself and my abilities. I didn’t even recognize the woman I saw in the mirror each day.

    So what happened? I began searching for ideas on how to make changes in my life. The search included reading books and articles on the internet, talking to friends and people I admired who were happy and secure in their lives seeking their advice, and digging deep within myself and asking the tough questions. What had made me happy in the past? What needed to happen for me to recognize myself again? What would I even look like? Who did I want to be?

    Ultimately, the answer came to me through Twitter and a woman I didn’t know. I began seeing tweets from a woman named Amy about a project she’d embarked upon making 1,000 cranes and then more tweets announcing her ambitious plan to have 1,000 new experiences over the course of the next year. She’d written a blog post about it and I was struck by the fact that although she already had hundreds of items on her list, most of her list was empty and unplanned.

    I distinctly remember thinking how cool her adventures sounded, but how I could never have 1,000 new experiences in a year. There was simply no way. The excuses for why I couldn’t achieve something so ambitious flooded my brain, but a little voice kept popping up and saying, “What if you tried? What do you have to lose?” Like Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men, that little voice examined all the “evidence” for why I couldn’t and methodically made all that “evidence” disappear.

    Ultimately, I decided that I thought maybe I could have 100 new experiences in one year. I didn’t know what those experiences would be, although I had a few in mind to start. The more I thought about the possibilities, the more ideas inundated my head and my heart and I got really excited about the journey.

    I finished my initial list of 100 new experiences on New Year’s Eve 2013 and, never one to rest on my laurels, I challenged myself to have another 50 new experiences by the one year anniversary. Today is the one year anniversary and, as you already know, I blew that goal out of the water too. I had 160 new experiences in one year.

    Yay me!

    So what did I learn?

    1. New doesn’t have to mean new.  There were a number of experiences I had earlier in adulthood or as a kid that I loved, traditions I stopped honoring, and parts of me that I’d let go of in order to be someone I thought I should be to make others happy. What I realized was that it was most important to honor myself. I allowed myself to go back and re-experience things I’d done earlier in life (at least 10 years ago) because I decided that if I hadn’t done it in 10 years, the experience was new again. Those experiences were some of my favorite experiences.
    2. Ask for what I want. The world has no idea what I want and neither do the people who love me. They might have some idea, but they’re not mind readers. I have to speak up. My voice has power and is mine. My wants and needs are important and I’m worthy of having them met.
    3. Just do it. Yes, this has been the Nike slogan since 1988, but there’s a reason it’s stuck around for almost 30 years. It resonates with people for its simplicity. Just do it shouts down all excuses. Just like the runner who falls short of completing her first marathon, even if I didn’t achieve my goal of 100 new experiences, but had only had 50 or 75 or 90, I’d still be further along than if I hadn’t started at all.
    4. Growth happens in fits and spurts and it’s okay. It’s never a straight trajectory upward. Some days I took two steps forward and three steps back, while other days, I surged ahead fearlessly. In the end, I grew more than I imagined I could.
    5. Be open and listen to the Universe. In November, I was in Chicago for a one-day conference and dinner with Amy that night (oh, we ultimately became real life friends). When the conference was over, I had a couple of hours to kill, it was one of the clearest, most beautiful days I’d seen in ages, and realized the Universe was telling me to run over to the Sears Tower and conquer my fear of heights by standing on the Sky Deck Ledge. Coincidently, that same day, some committee somewhere had decided that the new Freedom Tower in New York had out climbed the Sears Tower to be the tallest building in the country, a major story in Chicago. My super secret crush Ben Bradley from ABC7 was reporting the story from the Sky Deck at the Sears Tower. One new experience quickly turned into a second new experience when I met him and he graciously took a picture with me and then the next day, he retweeted me and the pic. I could have done some window shopping on Michigan Avenue or sat on a bench and read a book for those two hours, but the Universe pushed me out of my comfort zone that clear, beautiful evening as the sun set over the western suburbs and I had two great new experiences, one of which wasn’t even on my list of possible experiences. Ben, if you’re reading this, I’d still LOVE it if you’d do a story about my journey. That would be the coolest new experience yet (see lesson #2 above).
    6. It’s not about what happens to us, but how we handle what happens to us. In the past year, I’ve had pneumonia and totaled my car. I’ve also had some lousy new experiences that I haven’t shared publicly and aren’t on the list. They were pretty crappy experiences. Some people have questioned why I listed having pneumonia and totaling my car on the list of new experiences when they were so awful. The reason is simple: It wasn’t about the experience as much as it was about how I handled it. Shitty things happen in all of our lives. The measure of each of us is how we handle those experiences in both the short and long term. With my car accident, I’ve focussed only on how much gratitude I have. Yes, I cried in the moment. It was terrifying and I felt defeated, but within a couple of hours, I was able to see how much there was to be grateful for. That’s the important part.

    This past year has been one of the best years of my life and I’m elated to have gone on this journey. My life is richer for having pushed myself physically, professionally, emotionally.

    As President Bartlet asks in each episode of The West Wing, “What’s next?” (I really should have a t-shirt that says this. It’s become my mantra.)

    Starting today, I am embarking on another year of new experiences. 250 to be exact. Yes, I’ve upped the ante. I can do it. I’m certain of it. Most of the list is done and I’m giddy about it. I’ll be sharing it publicly tomorrow.

    In the meantime, you can see the full list of my 160 completed new experiences, along with pictures and links to blog posts, here. I’m also going to be posting a gallery of my favorite pictures from the past year in the next few days.

    You might also want to take a peek at Amy’s original list, her newest list, and my friend Kristin’s list. Kristin began her journey in the last couple of months and I’m incredibly proud of her. They are pretty impressive and have given me lots of inspiration for my new list.

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  • Happy National Siblings Day

    Happy National Siblings Day

    According to my Facebook wall, today is National Siblings Day. All of my friends are posting pics of their siblings and spouting lovely platitudes about just how great their siblings are, blah, blah, blah.

    I hate to break it to all of you, but I have the most supercalifragilisticexpialidocious brother ever. EVEH. Let me tell you why your siblings don’t stack up to my younger brother.

    First, I’ve already shared the tales about him asking if he could have herpes and how he reacted to winning a gold medal in the reading Olympics and those stories alone blow just about every other single sibling story out of the water.

    I could stop there, but I won’t because while those are lovely anecdotes, they don’t really tell you who Dave is as a brother.

    Dave isn’t just the younger sibling my mom gave birth to 3 1/2 years after I became accustomed to being an only child, making him my biological family, but he’s my friend. Actually, he’s one of my best friends. He’s usually the first person I call with good news and the first person I call when I feel like my life is falling apart because I can always count on him to cheer loudest for me and to have my back.

    Sure, sometimes we fight, just like all siblings. But what I know for sure is that no matter how much we yell at each other, deep down we truly love each other. I’ve heard it said that you don’t fight with people you are afraid will leave. I know Dave won’t ever leave and he knows I won’t leave either. That enables us to be brutally honest with each other and when we’re done, we both apologize for our part in the argument and resume our tight relationship.

    Dave challenges me more than anyone I’ve ever known and holds me accountable. He pushes me to be better and never stops believing in me, even when my belief in myself has long since left. Hiking up Baldy in 2004? Dave cheered for me the whole way. Swimming across Lower Herring Lake in 2010? Dave kayaked right along side of me and when I needed to stop and catch my breath, he just floated with me. He never ridiculed my slowness. Unlike my dad, Dave never doubted I could do it. He just encouraged me and made sure I knew that he was there to catch me if I needed it. Climbing Sleeping Bear Dunes in 2013? Did it with Dave. No one believes in me the way Dave does.

    And I return the belief and support. When he needs help, I’m Dave’s first call because I don’t judge him or tell him I told him so. When he’s got news to celebrate, I can always be counted on cheer the loudest.

    Although I live much closer to our parents (30 minutes from Mom and 3 hours from Dad vs. Dave’s 6 hours from each), Dave provides close to 50% of their care. In fact, Dad had knee surgery a few weeks ago and Dave went down to Indy two days before I did and I didn’t even know he was there. Sometimes his participation is simply listening to my frustrations on the phone, but that is just as valuable as being the person on the scene.

    Dave is a contractor and, although he performs difficult physical labor five to seven days each week, he never says no to helping fix something at our Mom’s house, Dad’s house, or my house. It’s a given that when Dave comes to town he’s always got a Honey Do List to complete. Although Mom and I pay for the materials for work he does on my house or our Mom’s house, we pay for his labor by going on a major Costco shopping spree for him and sending him home with a freezer full of homemade frozen food. It’s a fair trade.

    When he was a senior in high school, Dave two silver pendants in an art class – one for his girlfriend and one for our mom. I wanted one badly and for my 21st birthday, he surprised me with a silver pendant of two people standing next to each other connected at the hands and feet. I remember being thrilled that he remembered how I wanted a piece of his artwork, but it wasn’t until later that night that I realized this wasn’t just any old piece of art. For one of his last high school papers, he wrote about the meaning of this particular piece of art he’d made. According to his paper, the two people represented us and the bond we share; the way we always took care of each other and the role played in each others lives. I sobbed like a baby when I read these words that, as a 17 year old high school kid, he could not say out loud.

    So there you have it. Dave is the coolest brother ever. EVER.

    Happy National Siblings Day Dave! You’re the best and I wouldn’t want to have anyone else as my brother.

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  • We are a drug addicted nation and it’s not only 100% legal, but it’s encouraged

    We are a drug addicted nation and it’s not only 100% legal, but it’s encouraged

    Disclaimer: I am a fan of Western medicine. I think they’ve made some incredible strides in curing and completely eradicating previously deadly illnesses and disabilities. I like doctors and nurses and EMTs. They work hard and often see people at their absolute worst. They deliver good news and life changing awful news and are sometimes forced do it just minutes apart.

    ——-

    I’ve previously discussed that I take two prescription for two chronic problems that I have. More than anything, I’d like to be able to stop taking these medications either because the problems are fixed or because I’ve found a way to manage them through more natural (i.e., non-chemical based) ways. I’ve spoken to both doctors who treat these conditions and we all agree that there are some ways to achieve my goals without popping pills, although for a variety of reasons, we’ve decided to do this slowly and will probably wait until I have a new job.

    In addition to these two matters, I also have Rosacea. If you don’t know what that is, Rosacea is a condition that usually appears on your face in which your skin becomes very red, irritated, itchy, and can even burn or feel warm. My skin has always tended towards the pink side, but the Rosacea has really become apparent over the past year or so. Depending on the time of the month, my skin can be more or less red and more or less irritable. There is also evidence to suggest that different foods can cause flare-ups.

    I’ve never been treated for the Rosacea, but because I have the time, I decided to pay a visit to a dermatologist a friend recommended to me. It was also time for my annual mole patrol visit, so the timing was good.

    The doctor and her staff were nice enough. Her office was very professional, although based on the posters on the walls, it was very clear she likes to write prescriptions. In my conversation with her nurse, I was very clear that I’m currently on two prescriptions, but in the process of finding natural alternatives and removing all chemical cleaning and personal care products from my life, and I did not want any prescriptions.

    Why don’t I want to take pills or use chemicals? It’s simple. I’m not a fan of unnecessary chemicals that can do more harm than good and because I don’t want my body to develop resistance to drugs that I could really need someday for something truly important.

    The office was pretty busy yesterday and my wait to see the doctor was more than an hour. She walked in, examined me from head to toe, declared that all of my moles are normal and healthy (yay!), and handed me three prescriptions for the Rosacea. THREE. She then suggested that in addition to those topical prescription treatments, I might also want to try an antibiotic (that would be a fourth!).

    I was pretty worn down by this point (it was now two hours past when I had planned to have lunch) and simply ran by Walgreens to pick up what she’d called in for me while I got dressed.

    Now that I’m home with the three new prescriptions, in addition to the two prescriptions I need to keep my body functioning normally, I stare at all these medications with great confusion and many questions that I wish I’d thought to ask or that the doctor had asked me.

    She was rushed and it was easy to give me prescriptions. I know that and I don’t blame her; it’s not her fault. She had an overly full waiting room and every patient room was occupied too. Given how little insurance pays, she’s got to see a ton of patients and handing out prescriptions to each of them is easy and lets her see more patients in her day. Plus, insurance doesn’t usually pay for alternative medical care, but they happily pay for pharmaceuticals. This is what American Healthcare has become. Insurance will cover pills to fix problems, but not natural ways to fix problems and definitely not most preventative care.

    Here’s what I wish she’d asked me:

    1. How long have you been on these other two medications?
    2. What is your daily dosage for each of them?
    3. When did the redness in your skin begin to worsen?
    4. Let’s talk about your diet. Do you eat a lot of spicy foods?
    5. How much water are you drinking?
    6. I see that you’re interested in not taking pills and not using chemicals. We have a three options. First, it is possible that the two medications you’re currently on are causing this side effect. We can talk to those doctors and see if we can change those medications. (NOTE: I don’t know if this is actually the case, but it might have made sense to explore.) Second, we have some great topical prescriptions I can give you that I’m pretty certain will help quickly. Finally, there are a few natural things to try that would include removing spicy foods from your diet and a couple of other life changes. If we go the third route, it will be trial and error and will probably take longer to find a good solution. How would you prefer to start?

    As I said, I firmly believe in Western medicine, but I also believe there is a lot we don’t know when it comes to prescribing drugs. Obviously all drugs are tested and I’m fairly sure that the medical world knows how a single drug will react with the average person’s body chemistry. I even feel more or less comfortable that they know how two will react. But adding in a third? No way. There are simply too many medicines out there to know how all possible combinations will react with every single person’s individual body chemistry.

    While more than anything I want to focus only on Eastern medicine, including acupuncture, cupping, massage, chiropractic care, nutrition, exercise, and natural alternatives to fix the relatively minor things that ail me, my insurance refuses to pay for those. I also wish my doctor had spent another five minutes with me to discuss the matters above. I don’t want to end up like the drug addicted guy (or woman) wearing this t-shirt.

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  • Better Safe Than Sorry or The Chronicles of My Cat Scan

    Thursday night, after my car accident, I went to bed feeling fine. A little stiff, but fine. Friday morning I woke up with a pretty sore abdomen. I had a few errands to run and ran them, still feeling a dull ache. Late in the morning, my awesome State Farm agent called to talk about the accident and when I mentioned my sore abdomen, he strongly suggested I have it checked out.

    Although I’m not a fan of heading to the ER, I headed over to Lake Forest Hospital around noon for what I assumed would be a quick in and out. We all know what happens when we assume something, right? Well, the good news is that I got to watch the Cubs game as I’d hoped to do. The bad news is that I witnessed the entire calamity snuggled up on a gurney in the ER where I spent more than five hours. So much for my plan to send out job applications while watching the game. Mom always told me that the best way to make God laugh was to tell him my plan. Let me tell you, he had a lovely chuckle yesterday.

    After I donned one of the highly fashionable hospital gowns (thank God I wore nice knickers yesterday), I was poked and prodded in a variety of ways by a very nice doctor who told me she wanted to have blood drawn and, assuming my kidney functions were good, perform a Cat Scan of my abdomen. This would involve something “contrast,” that could evidently only be done intravenously, because I love needles so much.

    The nurse came in, took my blood, and then informed me that she was going to leave the needle in my arm in order to avoid having to stick me again later when I was given the contrast. Um, okay. She then gave me a drink that tasted like Crystal Light Lemonade that would work with the contrast thing later. Frankly, as far as I was concerned, all it did was make me have to pee a lot and I had the pleasure of walking through the ER with my ass hanging out of the sexy gown. It was a slow day, so thankfully there weren’t a whole lot of people witnessing one of my finest fashion moments.

    As the afternoon wore on, the nurse came and went, took my vitals a few times and made me drink more of the Crystal Light Lemonade stuff. And the Cubs went from being up 2-0 to being down 7-2 and ultimately losing their home opener against the Phillies, managed by former Cub and Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg. Not for nothing, but I’m still pretty ticked that the Cubs didn’t hire Ryno when they needed a new GM. Just seeing him back at Wrigley made me happy though, so that’s something.

    Finally it was time for my Cat Scan and I was wheeled over to the radiology department where they keep the big picture taking machines. Yes, that’s a technical phrase. The IV in my arm was hooked up to the machine that delivered the contrast stuff. If you’ve never experienced this contrast stuff before, it quickly warms your body and makes you feel like you’re peeing yourself, but you’re not. Less than ten minutes later I was wheeled back to the ER and told to hang out while the radiologist looked at the pictures, chatted with the ER doctor, and all of my test results came back.

    About 5:15, the ER doctor returned with the news that aside from some bruising I was completely fine and could go home. She’d return with her discharge report shortly, but I could get dressed. A few minutes later, the nurse walked in, removed the intravenous needle from my arm, and gave me instructions to drink lots of water and to rid my body of the contrast stuff.

    It wasn’t the way I’d planned to spend my Friday afternoon, but I’d much rather be safe than sorry and the news let my mom (and me) sleep better last night. I continue to be incredibly grateful that although my car is probably toast, there were no injuries. Cars are just stuff and, unlike people, they can be replaced.

    Oh, a Cat Scan was also a fun new experience. I think I’m on a roll.

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  • Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm and My Friends Were There

    On my way to Skokie this evening, in the heart of rush hour, I was in a car accident on Interstate 94 and it appears I’ve totaled my car.

    It doesn’t really matter exactly what happened. Well, I suppose it does, but for this post, those details are meaningless.

    What is important is that there were no injuries and the vast majority of the damage was to my car, with what appears to be only minor damage to the other two cars.

    Unfortunately, I was on my way to the women’s group I’ve been part of for the better part of a year. The group decided to disband and tonight was our last meeting. Of all the emotions I’m feeling right now, I feel the worst about not being able to attend the meeting, properly thank the women for all they’ve taught me, and put closure on something that’s been a big part of my weekly schedule for months.

    Each week I looked forward to seeing them and learning from their wisdom, strength, and courage. We cheered for each other in the good times and picked each other up when we stumbled. To say I could have used their support tonight is an understatement, but they would have been proud at how I radically accepted the situation without beating myself up and completely kept my cool until it was safe to feel my emotions.

    The Illinois State Police arrived fairly quickly and couldn’t have been nicer. Cops often get a bad rap, but the police officer I dealt with tonight was empathetic and did her job with grace. Because the damage to my car was so extensive, she told me to sit in her car, which felt better than sitting in mine or standing outside in the cold, although I could have. She assured me that in the whole scheme of things, this was no big deal. No one was injured, we all have really good insurance, and everyone involved was as pleasant as could be, given the situation. That was comforting. We even had a laugh, although I can’t remember what we were laughing about now, except I know it wasn’t about the accident.

    A lovely woman from State Farm, my insurance company, filed my claim over the phone, set up a rental car I’ll get in the morning, and arranged the tow with the towing company this evening. She was pretty nice too, although I’d suggest not telling someone who’d just been in a sizable accident to have a great weekend at the end of the call. I’m just saying.

    The first thing that really struck me (no pun intended) as I sat in the back of the cop car was just how single and alone I am in this world. I have no significant other. Yes, I have an inner circle of friends I can count on for anything, but it’s not the same. It was at that moment I softly cried. Fortunately, those tears only lasted a few minutes because my friend Christopher said he’d come get me, even though he’d had a rough day and just wanted to go straight home from work and go to bed. It’s amazing how the feeling of gratitude makes tears disappear.

    Once the police officer left and my car was towed, I was left standing in the middle of a strip mall parking lot with a shopping cart of stuff I retrieved from my car waiting for Chris. A feeling of total overwhelm set in when I realized I’m unemployed, spent $500 three days ago on new tires, just committed to $500 per month for COBRA, now have a sizable car insurance deductible, and probably the stress of figuring out where I’m getting money for a new car to handle.

    The tears returned with a vengeance and I was suddenly crying hysterically in the middle of the parking lot. I stood there for about 15 minutes sobbing as person after person walked by, looked at me, and kept going without saying a word. My faith in humanity was waning until just by chance, my friend Jen walked up. Neither one of us lives near where we bumped into each other, but it sure was nice to have a friend show up in a moment of need. She generously kept me company until Christopher arrived a few minutes later. My tears stopped as we laughed about what a coincidence it was that we both happened to be at this random strip mall just then.

    In the end, I realized that I’m not nearly as alone in this world as I thought and that for all the stuff that’s happened since January 1st, I have a lot for which I’m grateful and that’s what I’m going to focus on moving forward. As I was just reminded by my friend Alan, to paraphrase Clarence in It’s A Wonderful Life, “no man is poor who has friends.” I also have a pan of brownies I made this afternoon that may or may not become my dinner tonight. Don’t judge me.

    Oh, and I had four new experiences today: car accident that probably totaled my car, sat in the back of a cop car, heard myself talked about on WBBM Newsradio 780 when they talked about my accident blocking traffic, and cried hysterically in public while being ignored by passersby. I think they push me over the 150 new experiences mark.

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  • 12 Secrets to a Clean House With Minimal Effort

    It’s no secret that I’m a bit OCD and a clean freak. Frankly, I wear it like a badge of honor on my sleeve. It goes back to childhood, but fully manifested itself in college, where, from time to time, my friends enjoyed giving me a bit of grief about it. Fortunately, I can accept a bit of good natured ribbing about it, although it never deters me.

    Here’s the crazy part about me being a clean freak: I hate to clean. I mean it. With every ounce of my soul, I cannot stand the routine everyday cleaning, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, and dishes. Weird, huh? I know. I’m not crazy though. My mom had me tested.

    Although I loathe the everyday routine cleaning, I love the semi-annual deep cleaning I do every spring and fall. Part of it has to do with changing my wardrobe, but I love taking the opportunity to purge things I no longer need or want (I give items in good condition to charity) and scrub my house from top to bottom. I did this last weekend and it included mopping the bathroom floor on my hands and knees and cleaning the baseboards with a toothbrush. And I was giddy doing it. Again, I’m not crazy. My mom really did have me tested.

    People often ask me how I manage to keep my house so clean without spending hours a week doing it and today is your lucky day. I’m feeling generous. Without further ado, here are my 12 Secrets to a Clean House.

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  • Chicagoans React to Ban Bossy

    In response to my blog post last week titled “Why I Can’t Lean In to Ban Bossy,” I received an email from a journalism student at Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism asking if she could interview me for a class project. To say I was flattered would be a gross understatement. I immediately wrote her back thanking her for her interest and agreeing to be interviewed.

    Early Sunday morning, we had a lovely phone conversation and then scheduled a time to meet in person for an on-camera interview.

    When we met in person, I was struck by her obvious personal interest in the idea of Ban Bossy, the research she’d done, and the thoroughness of her questions. Her assignment was to create a 90 second story about a current issue, presenting both sides of the topic, but, in addition to her professional interest in the campaign, she was clearly passionate about the topic personally.

    She told me she had spoken to a number of young women in the Lincoln Park area, many of whom were college students, and a number of them had been completely unaware of the Ban Bossy campaign by the Girl Scouts and the Lean In Foundation. Frankly, that surprised me. Given how prominent this campaign has been in both traditional and social media, I would have thought that it would have been more widely known about in an academic community. After our meeting, she was headed off to meet with the Girl Scouts to learn more about the campaign from their perspective.

    Below is the final story she turned in for her class. While I’m only seen and heard on camera for a few seconds, we probably spoke for about 20 minutes. I think she did a great job of fairly representing my points; I was quite nervous after we were done that I sounded like a gibbering idiot (no offense to actual gibbering idiots).

    In an email this morning, she said that her professors here happy with her finished project and “noted that you were an excellent interview and brought up some nuanced points.” Yay for me!

    Unfortunately, the sound is a bit off in the video, but I’ve been told that this often happens when using iTouch video with the editing software. No big deal.

    And that’s one more new experience for my year. New Experience #213 to be exact.

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  • Bring Me Some Texas Tea, My Guilty Pleasure is Dallas

    Bring Me Some Texas Tea, My Guilty Pleasure is Dallas

    Once a month, the bloggers of ChicagoNow come together for Blogapalooza. It’s a one-hour event. At exactly 9:00 p.m., our fearless leader, Jimmy Greenfield, emails us a topic. We write and post whatever we have at 10:00 p.m.

    This month’s Blogapalooza topic was just released.

    Welcome to ChicagoNow’s Blogapalooz-Hour!

    Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to publish a post in one hour. Here is tonight’s challenge:

    Write a post passionately defending your guilty pleasure(s). Think food, TV shows, celebrities, publications, movies, in-laws, whatever it is that probably kind of sucks but you (and maybe only you) definitely kind of love.

    Be creative, enjoy the process. Use words, images or video. Whatever you need to tell your story.

    Be aware of the time. No matter when you finish, please wait until 10 p.m. to publish. Above all, please respect the deadline.

    You have one hour.

    Go.

    My guilty pleasure. Hmmmmm. . .  Which one should I talk about publicly?

    I love Dallas. The television show.

    It all started in 1979 when my babysitter let me stay up on Friday nights to watch Dallas followed by Falcon Crest on CBS. I’m certain she never told my parents because they would have quickly put the kibosh on it. Dallas was definitely not proper viewing for a 7-year old.

    I quickly learned the whole family tree. Jock married Miss Ellie and they had three sons: JR, Bobby and Gary. Jock also had an affair that produced a son, Ray. JR was scheming, drinking, and constantly cheating on his wife Sue Ellen. They married and divorced repeatedly and JR even married a couple of his mistresses. Bobby was the dutiful son, the voice of reason, and a smart businessman. He was married to Pam, who is the brother of Cliff Barnes, who was JR’s archenemy.

    Each week, I looked forward to Fridays when my parents went out and was always disappointed when they stayed in because that meant I couldn’t watch Dallas and I’d surely miss a whole lot of action.

    Fortunately, they went out on that fateful night of March 21, 1980 when JR was shot leading to seven months of speculation and gossip about “Who Shot JR?” and then went out again on November 7, 1980 when we learned that Kristin Shepard, Sue Ellen’s sister, shot JR.

    My love for Dallas continued through the 1980s, through high school and even into college, when I happened to be babysitting on Fridays. Although the show with all its big hair, booze, shoulder pads, and sleeping around remained a guilty pleasure, it stopped being must see TV for me and I couldn’t begin to tell you how the series ended in 1991.

    I loved everything about it. I dreamed of living at Southfork. I loved the crazy characters, the sober and drunk Sue Ellen, JR’s scheming, Bobby’s hotness, and, of course, the theme song. Oh, that theme song. I still know it instantly from just the first couple of notes.

    This is the current version of the theme song. There were quite a few versions throughout the years.

    Imagine my delight, in 2012, when TNT announced that it was bringing Dallas back with the original actors playing JR, Sue Ellen, Bobby, and Cliff. Bobby is now married to Ann, but JR and Sue Ellen are now divorced for good. Sue Ellen has sobered up and is a very successful businesswoman. In addition to my favorite characters, their children have grown up. We’ve got John Ross (son of JR) and Christopher (son of Bobby) who are both adults and running the family business, Ewing Oil.

    My friends Tim and Michael are also huge fans of the show and invited me to a Dallas Dinner Party for the series premiere in 2012. We spent that night dining on pulled pork and many other Dallas-inspired goodies. We also shared our Dallas memories from childhood and listened to all the versions of the Dallas theme song. It turns out there were quite a few. We settled in with our cocktails and immediately were back in deep with our favorite family.

    We’ve watched many episodes of Dallas together, including the heartbreaking funeral of JR. What makes the new version of Dallas so entertaining for me is how social media creates a community watch party every Monday night. I never miss it, even if I have to watch the repeat later that night or on-demand on Tuesday.

    You might think that nothing can equal the badassness of the original Dallas, but you’d be wrong. There’s just as much lying, scheming, cheating, and drama as there ever was. There are many memorable lines, not the least of which was Sue Ellen informing us that after 20+ years of sobriety, “In fact, I’m a little drunk right now” at JR’s funeral.

    Dallas today is full 21st century badassness. And I love it. Oh, and I still want to live at Southfork.

    Want to read the all the posts from this month’s Blogapalooza, or, as Jimmy likes to call it, Blogapalooz-Hour. It’s one of his eight guilty pleasures, so we all try to humor him.

    [<a href=”//storify.com/ChicagoNow/chicagonow-s-blogapalooz-hour-volume-vii” target=”_blank”>View the story “ChicagoNow’s Blogapalooz-Hour: Volume VII” on Storify</a>]

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  • Thank You for Reading Little Merry Sunshine

    Thank You for Reading Little Merry Sunshine

    It’s been a busy week of New Experiences and I’ve gotten a little behind sharing them with you. I will remedy that situation this week.

    Do you remember how, when I reached my goal of having 100 New Experiences in 8 1/2 months, I decided to reset the goal and have 150 new experiences by April 11th (the 1 year anniversary of this journey)?

    Last night, I counted up my New Experiences. To date, I’ve had 131 new experiences and I’ve still got almost a full month before my deadline.

    More specifically, I’ve got 26 days to have 19 New Experiences.

    I think it’s a pretty safe bet I’ll reach 150 New Experiences, but how many will I actually have? Honestly, I have no idea.

    In the upcoming week, you can look forward to posts about my day at the Orchid Show with my mom; the staycation I took to Milwaukee with my cousin; trying new foods including a Shamrock Shake, Green River, Goose Island Root Beer and Spicy Ginger, and a Bloody Mary; serving as an election judge; an interview I’m doing later this week; and the workshop I attended with stylist Sally McGraw of Already Pretty. Go read her stuff. She’s the best.

    For today, however, I just want to say Thank You.

    Each week, the ChicagoNow bloggers get to see behind the curtain and receive stats on where our blog ranks among the other blogs on the network. We also receive a list of the most 50 popular posts for the week. For just the second time in my five months on ChicagoNow, Little Merry Sunshine has ranked among the Top 50 blogs of the week (ranking at #33 out of several hundred CN blogs; previously LMS was #49) and the post “Why I Can’t Lean In to Ban Bossy” ranked as the #39 post for the week.

    There are some truly excellent blogs and posts and I encourage you to check them out.

    Thank you for reading, liking, and sharing Little Merry Sunshine this past week. You are the best!

    (Being in the Top 50 Blogs and the Top 50 Blog Posts in the same week is New Experience #216)

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