-
Is my headshot a gigantic lie?
Like most people who use LinkedIn or have a professional presence, I had a professional headshot taken two years ago. While the photo is beautiful and I love it for a million reasons, I struggle with whether or not I’m being honest by having this photo out in the world as a representation of me.
Like I said, I love the photo. My skin is flawless and supple. My make-up in on point. My hair is perfect. My teeth are super white. My eyes sparkle. I look stunning. What’s not to love?
Well?
I don’t look like the woman in this photo.
The woman in the photo has not one wrinkle, freckle, or blemish. She has perfect eyebrows, high cheekbones, and a cute nose.
In real life, my skin is good. Most of the time. I have rosacea, so there are days when my skin is dry, red, and has some breakouts. (Side note: What the hell? I’m almost 46! Why do I still have acne?) Yes, makeup can cover it up, but nothing covers it up perfectly.
I have relatively few wrinkles, but I’m grateful and proud of the laugh lines and crows feet. They’ve all been well-earned by living my life. Living all of my life, the good and the bad. I view them as proof that I have life experience that only comes through being 46 or 56 or 66 or 86 or 106.
My hair isn’t always perfect. Actually, the thick head of hair I had for so many years has become baby fine. My teeth are fine, but not blinding white because I drink too much caffeine.
I recall someone saying, “she’s gorgeous, but she looks NOTHING like her headshot” about a woman I know professionally. Like me, her headshot had been lightly retouched to erase imperfections. Is it better to use a headshot that shows our real selves, crows feet and all, or to have a photo that makes us look flawless and youthful?
I recognize that it’s important to put my best self out there, especially when searching for a job or a spouse. But when did the image of my best self become someone who can’t show up on a date or a job interview because she doesn’t exist except in exquisitely retouched photos? Isn’t my real authentic self my best self?
I don’t know what the correct answer is, but I’m feeling like maybe it’s time to let my headshot show off the real me. What do you think?
[placegallery]
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
Once upon a time, flying United really was flying the friendly skies
Like the entire country, I’ve been riveted to and horrified by the story of Dr. David Dao being assaulted and dragged off a United Airlines flight between O’Hare and Louisville for the grievous offense of being unwilling to give up his seat on an overbooked United flight.
Today we learned that Dr. Dao has a broken nose, a significant concussion, a sinus infection, and lost two front teeth all because he was forcefully dragged from Sunday’s flight. This is unacceptable, yet it seems a bit inevitable in today’s world of Official Company Policies™ that must be followed at all costs – common sense be damned.
What makes it worse (I didn’t think this situation could get worse) is that it appears to not be an isolated incident. The Chicago Tribune’s David Lazarus has written two columns this week about four similar situations: United passenger threatened with handcuffs to make room for ‘higher priority’ traveler and How a family almost got bumped out of first-class for United’s CEO.
I haven’t flown United in a number of years because I have found Southwest a far better experience. With no luggage fees, no change fees, flight attendants, pilots, and staff who don’t take themselves too seriously, great customer service, and good on-time performance, why would I fly another airline?
In the 1990s, however, I flew United regularly between Washington, D.C. and Chicago because of hourly flights and $100 roundtrip fares. Back then United had very friendly skies. I could fly out on Friday after work and return Monday morning, without ever missing a moment of work. The new United terminal had opened at O’Hare in the late 1980s with the beautiful underground walkway; terminals were clean; I seem to recall free non-alcoholic beverages (e.g., coffee, soda, water, juice) at some of the gates which made those early morning flights much more tolerable; and the flights were rarely overbooked, so the middle seat was usually empty making everyone just a little more comfortable.
I loved flying United especially after my personal experience with their friendly and compassionate skies in 1997.
From my 2009 sharing of the story on my original Little Merry Sunshine blog:
When [my Grandma Gardner] passed away [in May 1997], I was living in Washington DC and her memorial service was being held in Chicago. Because she was cremated, the service was planned for a Saturday when everyone in the family could be there ten days after her death. This was wonderful because the family was spread all over the country and it meant we could all save a few bucks on airfare.
The ten days between Grandma’s death on May 1st and her memorial service on May 11th were very difficult for me at work. We were preparing to file a Summary Judgment brief in a case in the US District Court for the District of Columbia on May 10th and had been working insane hours – 14-16 hour days. I had been working 7 days a week for weeks, but this particular week I spent nights at the firm and didn’t sleep at all and ate even less.
By the time we filed the brief late that Friday afternoon, I was a physical and emotional wreck and I still had to drive home, do laundry, pack, eat, get to sleep, and be at the airport in time for my 6:30 flight to Chicago. If everything went smoothly, I’d arrive in Chicago about 8:00, have enough time to have breakfast with my dad, and we’d be at the church in plenty of time for the 10:00 service.
By the grace of God, I arrived at Washington National Airport on time, but it didn’t matter. We boarded the plane and about 20 minutes after we were scheduled to depart, our flight was canceled due to mechanical problems. Knowing I had to be on a plane to Chicago, I called United’s customer service on my cell phone and they put me on the 8am flight, which was a full flight and scheduled to arrive at O’Hare at 9:30. The only problem was that I couldn’t reach my dad to let him know he didn’t need to pick me up and he should just go straight to the church. Then I called my uncles and the church and begged them not to start without me. I also managed to reach my mom who said she’d be waiting for me at 9:30 to rush me to the church. The church in Glencoe was exactly 30 minutes from O’Hare.
I got my boarding pass and discovered I was in the last row of the plane. Sitting down in the last row, I took a deep breath and suddenly all the emotions and exhaustion I’d bottled up for two weeks came rushing out as tears running down my face. My sobbing was completely uncontrollable and involuntary. Given the size of the plane, I knew that it would take 30 minutes just to get off and I’d never make it to the memorial service on time.
In spite of my best efforts to conceal my sobs, a few minutes later a flight attendant arrived. She asked what was wrong and although I tried to assure her that I was fine, I did manage to explain my situation. Without a word she left, only to reappear again and asked me to collect my things because someone in first class had offered to give me his or her seat so I would have a chance of getting to the church on time.
Now I’d flown first class a couple of summers before, but nothing will ever compare to this experience in first class. For the first time in weeks, I ate a real meal with real dishes and silverware, as opposed to take-out food with plastic silverware. I slept and woke up in Chicago refreshed and calm, two emotions I barely remembered. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was the best food and best sleep I’ve ever experienced.
A few things stand out to me here:
- I had a full blown emotional meltdown on the plane. In no particular order, I was grieving the death of my grandmother, lacking any real nutritious food in my body, completely over exhausted, afraid my dad would be mad at me for not being on the original flight (in fact, he was furious because he thought I’d overslept and missed my flight), worried I’d let my family down by being late to my grandmother’s funeral, and worried the funeral would be over before I arrived and I wouldn’t get to say goodbye to my grandmother. I’m certain my emotions that day were worsened due to my undiagnosed anxiety.
- There were 100s of people waiting to get on a flight from DC to Chicago, all of whom would have been happy to sit in my middle seat of the last row of the plane. They probably would not have suffered an emotional meltdown.
- No one assumed I was emotionally unstable, crazy, or purposely attempting to disrupt the flight.
- I was treated with dignity and respect. The flight attendant showed compassion when she asked me what was wrong. She listened and then took it upon herself to see if she could make the situation better.
- Another passenger selflessly gave up a first-class seat he or she had presumably paid a considerable amount of money for. S/He may have been compensated, but s/he may not have been. I’ve always believed in my heart that the first-class passenger did it out of the kindness of his or her heart.
- The flight attendant wasn’t gone long enough to check United’s Official Company Policy™ for dealing with an hysterical passenger. She simply did the right thing.
In today’s world, I imagine no one would care why I was so upset. I would just be removed from the plane with no guarantee of being allowed to board a later flight. I would be labeled a troublemaker, crazy, unstable, and it would be assumed I had some sort of nefarious intent.
The difference between 1997 and today seems to be that United employees no longer have the ability to look at each situation individually and compassionately make the best decisions for all involved. They are required to strictly adhere to United’s Official Company Policy™ and unable to think for themselves to do what’s right.
The fact is that the right thing is not always the same as Official Company Policy™, and United’s culture has obviously become one of following the Official Company Policy™ without question. When companies hire good people, they need to empower and trust them to make decisions that are in everyone’s best interest, taking all circumstances into account, rather than simply relying on a black and white Official Company Policy™. In my opinion, employees who have that freedom are happier, more engaged, and provide far better customer service than employees whose only response is “I’m following the Official Company Policy™.” And good customer service creates happy customers who are more likely to return in the future. It’s not rocket science.
It’s been 20 years since my two hour flight to my grandmother’s funeral. I don’t remember too much about the rest of that day, but I still recall the generosity, compassion, and kindness of everyone affiliated with United Airlines. And I’ve proudly shared my story not once on my blog, but twice, in addition to the countless times I’ve told the story orally.
2017 United Airlines needs to take a lesson from its 1997 self.
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
Hey! Hey! What do you say! The Cubs are gonna win today!
Today is Opening Day for the 2017 Major League Baseball Season and it finds the World Series Championship Cubs playing against their perennial rival the St. Louis Cardinals.
The truth is that I have no idea whether the Cubs will win tonight. I certainly hope they do because like any good lifelong Cubs fan, I despise the Cardinals. But what I know for sure is that whether the Cubs win tonight or not, they will still be winners because they are still the reigning World Series Champions!
THE CUBS ARE THE REIGNING WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS.
Let that sink in for a moment.
The off season has been filled with incredible Cubs related joy for me.
[placegallery]
2016 sure felt great. Let’s make 2017 feel just as good.
Go Cubs Go!
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
I thought I was practicing mindfulness, but I wasn’t mindful enough
As I do about once every few months, earlier this week, I ventured out to drop off a bag of non-perishable groceries and personal care items to the local food pantry at my township office. I had a number of errands to run before a doctor’s appointment and was focussed on checking off items on my to do list.
I walked into a busy township office. One woman was at the counter applying for her passport and two others were waiting. My bag was heavy, but I sincerely thought, “oh good, waiting in line gives me a few moments to practice mindfulness and slow down.”
The line moved quickly and Woman #3 stepped to the counter before I knew it. She wanted to pick-up food from the food pantry. The Township Employee asked if she had ID. With a shaky voice, she realized she didn’t have her ID with her. My heart sank.
No problem, the Township Employee could look her up in the system if she’d been there before. The woman gave her name, only to be met with bad news a few seconds later. She hadn’t been to the food pantry in 2017, so she couldn’t have any food unless she could prove her identity.
Did she have anything with her that showed her address? A piece of mail? A checkbook? Insurance card? ANYTHING? It didn’t even need a photo. Just anything. The woman dug through her purse searching and my heart broke.
Was there anything I could do for this woman, I wondered, but my thought was interrupted by the Township Employee asking how she could help me. I’m here to donate to the food pantry. Do you want a receipt? No thanks. Just leave the bag on the chair next to you. Thank you for your donation. All the while, I’m watching this woman search in vain for something that proved who she lived within the Township.
I thanked the employee and walked out the door and down the stairs, but I kept thinking “what can I do to help this woman?” I had $20 in my purse. Should I give it to her when she came out empty handed? Should I offer to take her to the grocery store and buy her a few groceries just to get her through? I waited for her in the front parking lot, but she must have exited through the back door.
I desperately wanted to help this woman.
About five hours later I walked into my house, but I still couldn’t get this woman out of my mind. Why hadn’t I done something? Why hadn’t the Township Employee asked her to recite her address and compare it to what was in the computer?
And then it dawned on me. Maybe the Township Employee let the woman take a few items from my bag before she processed it for the food pantry. Yes, hopefully that’s what happened.
About an hour later, I had another thought. I literally held the answer in my hands while I stood waiting in the Township Office.
Let me repeat that . . . I literally held the solution to the problem in my hands.
WHY DIDN’T I JUST GIVE THE WOMAN MY BAG OF GROCERIES RATHER THAN DONATE IT?
UGH.
I thought I was being mindful and fully present in the minutes I waited in the Township Office, but I couldn’t see the answer that was in my hands.
What did I learn? My daily mindfulness practice obviously needs some more practice. The good news is my heart was in the right place as I tried to think of ways to help the woman in front of me. The other good news is that I fairly quickly realized (6 hours is pretty good) the most obvious solution and that I wasn’t as present as I thought I was.
We all have work to do.
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
Which film will win the Oscar for Best Picture?
For the first time in my life, I have seen each of the films nominated for the Best Picture Academy Award. In a typical year, I see one or two, if I’m lucky. Frankly, I don’t normally have much interest in the nominees, but this year the films grabbed me and I was compelled to see them.
First, I took my mom to see Hidden Figures over Martin Luther King Jr. Day Weekend. A few weeks later, I spent a weekend in Michigan with my brother Dave and we saw Lion at the Garden Theater in Frankfort, Michigan. Knowing I also wanted to see Fences, La La Land, Manchester by the Sea, and Hacksaw Ridge, I decided to take the plunge and attend the 2-day AMC Best Picture Showcase. I had heard good things about Arrival and Moonlight, but hadn’t even heard of Hell or High Water.
Before getting into the movies, let me just saw that this is the way to see the films nominated for Best Picture. I saw the movies at the AMC Hawthorn 12, which has reclining seats. I took a blanket and just curled up for the day. I was comfy and cozy. Plus, seeing the movies in a marathon is a steal. The two days cost me just $70 for the tickets, which is $7.77 per movie.
Now for the movies:
Hidden Figures
Mom and I both loved it. The acting was beautiful and the story was one we must not forget. I recall seeing the photo of Katherine (Goble) Johnson receiving the Medal of Freedom from President Obama in 2015 and I was stopped in my tracks. I’m not ashamed to say I cried.This film, in particular, felt like it was a “must see” given what’s happening in the country at this moment. I was particularly struck by the fact that it was only 50 years ago when we had separate drinking fountains, bathrooms, libraries, jobs, etc. We can’t forget this history. Everyone should see Hidden Figures, even younger children. Hidden Figures is my personal Best Picture. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Octavia Spencer is nominated for Best Supporting Actress.
Lion
Another true story, this film simply amazed me. That 5-year-old Saroo could survive all that he did on the streets of India before being adopted by an Australian couple is almost unbelievable. This movie tells the story of never losing hope and brought me to tears more than once. The movie was beautifully acted and shot. It’s a feel good story that we all need. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Dev Patel is nominated for Best Supporting Actor and Nicole Kidman is nominated for Best Supporting Actress.
Manchester by the Sea
I did not see this one coming. I knew the premise of the movie, but I didn’t have a clue. I won’t give it away, but I will say that if you see it, take an entire box of tissues. In general I’m not a fan of Michelle Williams, so I appreciated that she wasn’t a main character. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Casey Affleck is nominated for Best Actor, Lucas Hedges is nominated for Best Supporting Actor and Michelle Williams is nominated for Best Supporting Actress.
Hacksaw Ridge
Another true story that’s about having the courage of our convictions. I don’t typically like war films because they’re a bit too gory for me, but Desmond Doss is a true American hero. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Andrew Garfield is nominated for Best Actor.
Arrival
Although Arrival is a science fiction movie, it’s about the importance of communication and cooperation. I’m not a fan of science fiction, but Arrival held my attention for the duration of the film. I’m not sure why this is up for Best Picture. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture, Arrival is nominated for seven other Oscars.
Hell or High Water
This movie was completely unknown to me. I hadn’t heard of it and didn’t know what to expect, yet I loved it. This is a movie about family and what we do for those we love. It’s also a movie about punishing the banks that caused the financial collapse in 2008/2009. Without a doubt, this was my favorite film because I could easily anyone who got screwed by the big banks wanting to get revenge. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Jeff Bridges is nominated for Best Supporting Actor,
Moonlight
I think anyone who has ever felt like an outsider or who has struggled with their identity will relate to Moonlight. This movie forces you to look past stereotypes and see people for who they really are. Loved it. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Mahershala Ali is nominated for Best Supporting Actor and Naomie Harries nominated for Best Supporting Actress.
Fences
Denzel Washington is almost unrecognizable in this film. Viola Davis is the heart of Fences. I loved this movie about family struggle and forgiveness. Bring tissues. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Denzel Washington is nominated for Best Actor and Viola Davis is nominated for Best Supporting Actress.
La La Land
Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are certainly lovely to look at in any movie. La La Land is a fun movie that harkens back to Old Hollywood and 20th century musicals like Singin’ in the Rain. In addition to being nominated for Best Picture and other awards, Ryan Gosling is nominated for Best Actor and Emma Stone is nominated for Best Actress.
Summary:
Most of the movies nominated for Best Picture are about family, relationships, and the human condition. I think that’s why I loved them so much. They told the stories of our best selves and our worst selves, but mostly about the struggle to be better.
So what film will take home the Oscar for Best Picture?
La La Land.
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
Practice self kindness by taking a smartphone detox
Fellow ChicagoNow bloggers Beth, writer of Ups and Downs of a Yoga Mom, Nina, writer of You Know Neen, and Megan, writer of Stable Mable, and I are joining forces this week to practice self kindness with a smartphone detox.
Popsugar‘s smartphone detox, which is the detox plan we are following, is a simple weeklong exercise that includes one assignment each day taking just a few minutes.
Why should we and you take a smartphone detox? Simply put, most of us are addicted to our phones. They are an extension of us and go with us everywhere, including the bathroom. As I type this post, my phone is sitting on the sofa next to me and I’m glancing at tweets coming in about the Russian hacking situation and text messaging with my brother and a friend. CNN isn’t going to be calling for my reactions on the Russian hacking, so I probably don’t need to be as tuned in as I am.
Popsugar‘s detox plan:
Monday: Unfollow people who aren’t your real friends, unsubscribe from unwanted email lists, and delete apps you don’t use.
Tuesday: Turn off push notifications.
Wednesday: Resist the urge to look at your phone first thing in the morning.
Thursday: Set up a charging station outside of your bedroom, and don’t look at your phone an hour before bed.
Friday: Go out to dinner, and leave your phone at home.
Saturday: Spend the day not looking at or posting to social media.
Sunday: Turn off your smartphone for the entire day.
As I look at this list, I’m a little nervous. My phone is my alarm clock and I use guided meditations each night before sleep, which fall under the assignments for Wednesday and Thursday. I will probably switch Friday and Saturday because I’m going out on Saturday, but not Friday. Personalize your smartphone detox so that it works for you. It’s more important to do each step rather than follow the order.
Beth, Nina, Megan, and I are hoping that our smartphone detoxes will make us more present, less stressed, and happier.
Will you join us and share your results with us?
Check out all of my #Kindness2017 blog posts here.
PopSugar’s Smartphone Detox Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
100+ Acts of Self Kindness
Step two in spreading kindness throughout the world in 2017 is performing one act of self kindness (aka self care) each week. Yesterday we discussed acts of kindness that we can perform for others. Today it’s time to focus on ourselves.
Before we get into the list of possible acts of self kindness, let me tell you a quick story about my life.
For years, whenever I’d fly, I’d hear the flight attendant say that if the oxygen masks were activated that we should put on our own oxygen masks before helping others and I thought this was the dumbest advice. Why would anyone leave their child without oxygen, even for a second, I always wondered. It sounded selfish to me. Of course, I would help someone before I helped myself. That’s just how I lived my life.
Fast forward to about five years ago. I was functioning, sort of, but was a wreck on the inside. Forty years of putting everyone else first and myself last came crashing in on me and I was a mess. I went into therapy and my therapist said if I wasn’t taking care of myself, there was no way I could take care of anyone else.
I’m pretty certain the lightbulb that went on over my head was so bright it could light my entire town all night. I finally understood the whole idea about putting my oxygen mask on first and I slowly began to practice acts of self kindness or self care. I still struggle with putting myself first, but I’m much healthier today for making the conscious effort to be kind to myself. You’ll be better off too.
The list of possible acts of self kindness is endless, but to get you started, I’ve listed 100 of my favorite acts of self kindness below. I’d love to hear what acts you perform in the comments.
- Go to bed an hour early.
- Eat healthy.
- But yourself flowers.
- Write yourself a love note.
- Forgive yourself for something you beat yourself up about.
- Get a massage.
- Get a manicure and/or pedicure.
- Go for a walk.
- Exercise.
- Drink 64 oz of water.
- Take your full lunch break away from your desk.
- Read a book.
- Turn off the tv and do something else.
- Pursue a hobby you’ve let go.
- Grab coffee with a friend.
- Get your annual physical and any tests including a mammogram, etc.
- Visit your dentist twice a year for your semi-annual cleaning.
- Create a gratitude journal. Try these tips to get you started.
- Participate in a 52-week money saving challenge. Save $1,378 using this method. (Want to save more? Try doubling or tripling your weekly contribution.) Here’s an easy challenge for young kids.
- Pay off your debt. Try one of these 11 strategies. I used strategy #2 and it was easy. Once you get out of debt, I recommend putting the total monthly debt payment into savings. You’ve been living without this money because you’ve used it to pay off debt, so you know you don’t need it for today’s expenses.
- Create a budget and stick to it. The only way to do this is to document it. I use a completely un-fancy Excel spreadsheet that works for me.
- Meditate.
- Be fully present.
- Hire a cleaning lady.
- Take a nap.
- Take a social media hiatus. It doesn’t have to be permanent, but I know a lot of people who take social media breaks while on vacation, during extra stressful times in their lives, and just because. Try it for 24 hours. Let me know how it goes after its done.
- Turn off ALL electronics for 24 hours. You might want to participate in the National Day of Unplugging. Read about my experiences here and here.
- Have sex alone or with someone who curls your toes.
- Take a bubble bath.
- Have dinner by candlelight.
- Enjoy dinner on the good dishes.
- Wear something that makes you feel like a million bucks.
- Go on a picnic.
- Learn your love language and share it with your partner.
- Listen to music that speaks to your soul.
- Make a mix playlist of music that inspires you. Put it on your phone or iPod and listen to it regularly, especially in the car. This is my list.
- Sing.
- Dance.
- Play an instrument.
- Watch the sunset or sunrise.
- Build a pillow fort.
- Snuggle with your pets.
- Give yourself a 30-minute timeout.
- Swing on a swing.
- Color. Print out some of these free coloring pages.
- Take any medications and vitamins daily and on-time.
- Plan a special date night for you and your significant other without your kids and unrelated to birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays. Dress up for each other. If possible, spend the night in a hotel so you can reconnect without the distractions of home. Be fully present. Bonus points if you can take an entire weekend. Involve your partner in the planning. (Extra bonus: Counts as kindness towards your partner and self-care).
- Start a happiness box where you save special notes or cards that you receive that lift you up. Includ inspirational quotes, photos, or anything that brings you joy. Make the box special by decorating it or choosing a container that reflects the specialness of its contacts. Refer to it often.
- Start laughing and build up to a full guttural bellyaching laugh.
- Fix something small that annoys you.
- Take 10 deep breaths. Learn how here.
- Go outside and bask in the sun for 15 minutes (but wear a hat, sunglasses, and sunscreen).
- Play I Spy looking only for things that you find beautiful. I modify this game to play it solo by simply saying “I spy tulips” to myself when I see tulips, etc. This can be done anywhere, anytime.
- Celebrate little wins as well as big ones.
- Walk barefoot in the grass.
- Learn something new.
- Ask someone to teach you how to make their “signature dish.”
- Do not set your alarm on a day off.
- Make yourself a cup of tea.
- Write in your journal.
- Go to church.
- Listen to an inspirational podcast. I really like Happier with Gretchen Rubin. Bonus: Her books are fabulous too.
- Be a tourist in your own town for a day.
- Take yourself out to lunch or dinner at your favorite restaurant.
- Make your favorite meal.
- Pack your lunch for work and write yourself an inspirational note that you’ll find at lunch.
- Watch your favorite movie.
- Go to therapy.
- Try acupuncture. I did it and loved it.
- Watch adorable animal videos on YouTube for 15 minutes.
- Create a Zentangle. This is mine.
- Attend an AA or other support group meeting.
- Make grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner. Comfort food is healing.
- Create post-it notes with inspiring phrases and leave them around your home.
- Where is the place you feel happiest or is your safe place? Place a reminder of it (e.g. photo) in your work office where you can see it regularly.
- Learn a new board game. I recently played Dungeons & Dragons for the first time and will be learning chess this weekend.
- Have kids with toys? Spend an hour playing with their toys. Just you, no kids.
- Live near water? Go sit by it, kayak, canoe, or swim in it.
- Actually stop and smell the roses (or other flowers).
- Stargaze. Contemplate our place in the universe. Check out this calendar of astronomy events in 2017.
- Learn to fully accept compliments and not downplay your contributions.
- Skip rocks.
- Jump in a puddle.
- Build a snowman.
- Make a snow angel or sand angel.
- Build a sand castle.
- Go fishing.
- Overcome a fear.
- Spend a day at King Spa.
- Stop “should-ing” all over yourself.
- Declutter. Start with one closet, dresser, or small room like the bathroom.
- Achieve and maintain Inbox Zero.
- Let go of busy.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing ourselves to others only serves to make us miserable because there is always someone out there whose life appears better than our own. The thing is though, life isn’t a competition. We’re each in the place we need to be at this moment. It’s also important to remember, that things aren’t always what they seem and even the people who appear to be the most together have things in their life their life they are unhappy with.
- Unsubscribe to unwanted marketing emails.
- Unsubscribe to junk mail. I have used the PaperKarma app with mixed success. Check out the Federal Trade Commission’s tips for unsubscribing to all kinds of unwanted mail.
- Honor your truth and values.
- Advocate for yourself
- Take a yoga class.
- Make your bed.
- Participate in the 100 Happy Days Challenge. I did it a couple of years ago and it was terrific.
- Watch this great TedTalk about kindness by Lauren Hug and follow her on Twitter.
- Stop multitasking. Science says that multitasking is ineffective and may damage your brain. Believe the science.
- Wear a Kindness Bracelet to remind yourself of your acts of kindness and others acts of kindness to you.
- Make some origami.
- Knit or needlepoint.
- Stay home from work or school when you’re sick. (Bonus: This is an act of kindness for your classmates and coworkers too.)
Check out all of my #Kindness2017 blog posts here.
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
100+ acts of kindness for others, animals, and the planet
Step one in spreading kindness throughout the world in 2017 is performing one act of kindness each week for another person or people, animal, or the planet.
The list of possible acts of kindness is endless, but to get you started, I’ve listed 100 of my favorite acts of kindness below. I’d love to hear what acts you perform in the comments.
1. Volunteer in a soup kitchen.
2. Write a thank you note.
3. Adopt a needy child for Christmas.
4. Donate blood.
5. Donate food or money to a food bank.
6. Donate used clothes or toys. Check out these 8 places to donate toys on Chi-Town Mommy Mayhem.
7. Pay a compliment to a stranger everyday this week.
8. Give the largest tip you can over and above the normal tip you would give to a server.
9. Take a healthy snack to work to share with your co-workers for no particular reason.
10. Make and distribute Homeless Helper Bags.
11. Make and distribute sandwiches for the needy.
12. Pay for coffee for the person behind you.
13. Let someone go in front of you at the checkout.
14. Write a letter (not an email) to someone you love telling them why you love them and mail it to them, even if they live in your house.
15. Make your significant other or child’s favorite meal for dinner without telling them.
16. Do a chore your significant other normally does without telling them in advance.
17. Take a casserole (or whatever) to someone who is struggling with an illness, grief, financially, or just had a baby.
18. Organize a Meal Train to provide multiple meals for someone who is struggling with an illness, grief, financially, or just had a baby.
19. Shovel your neighbor’s driveway and sidewalk.
20. Donate school supplies for a needy child at your neighborhood school, whether you have kids there or not.
21. Leave some gently used or new books in a free little library.
22. Write a letter to a government official thanking them for their service.
23. Adopt a sailor for Thanksgiving or Christmas.
24. Send a service person a card or care package.
25. Leave some bottled water for your mail carrier and garbage people.
26. Pick up litter in your neighborhood park (wear gloves to do this)
27. Offer to take a neighbor’s leaves or mow their lawn. Do not accept any form of payment.
28. Say thank you at least 10x today. See how many days in a row you can do this.
29. Send a Valentine to someone who isn’t expecting one. Extra points if it’s homemade.
30. Call your parents and siblings for no other reason than to say I love you.
31. If you have to wait for a service (e.g. medical appointment), sincerely thank the professional for taking the appropriate time with the previous client and fully addressing their needs.
32. Hold the door for someone each day this week.
33. Offer to get something off the top shelf at the grocery store for someone who can’t quite reach it.
34. Ask someone to tell you their story. Actively listen to it.
35. Buy Girl Scout cookies. Don’t know a Girl Scout? Find one here.
36. Buy an extra box of Girl Scout cookies to be sent to service people.
37. Take some homemade treats to your town’s first responders to thank them.
38. Run an errand for someone
39. Shop Amazon? Use Amazon Smile to make sure your fave charity gets a donation with every purchase. Information and FAQs here.
40. Write happy thoughts on 3×5 note cards and leave them on car windshields.
41. Put a love note in your spouse and child’s lunch.
42. Check on your elderly neighbors after a storm.
43. Join the bone marrow registry.
44. Return all phone calls within 24 hours, ideally with phone calls.
45. Return all emails within 24 hours.
46. Loan money to someone on Kiva and help them pursue their dreams of getting out of poverty.
47. Donate to a Go Fund Me page to help someone going through life’s challenges. I recommend donating to Brad’s Cancer Warrior Fund. Brad is the husband of a woman I went to college with and was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer days before Christmas.
48. Donate to a Kickstarter project and help bring creative projects to life.
49. Fund a Donors Choose project to help fund a project in a classroom.
50. Learn the names of your office security guard, condo building cleaning person, etc. and greet them with it each time you see them.
51. Thank the person cleaning the bathrooms for their hard work in a public facility.
52. Play a free, educational game on Free Rice to help end world hunger.
53. Compliment a parent and child on how well a child is behaved.
54. Praise your children in public for their good behavior.
55. Pay someone’s parking meter.
56. Ask someone if you can give them a hug. Keep asking people until someone says yes.
57. Let someone have the close-up parking spot.
58. Leave extra quarters in the laundry room with a note telling the finder that their load of laundry is on you. Do not sign your name.
59. Give up your seat on the bus or train.
60. Be kind to a customer service rep and thank them for doing all they can to assist you, even if you don’t get the answer you want or they aren’t able to fully assist you.
61. Receive outstanding service? Tell someone’s boss, write a note, or take the customer service survey on just about every store receipt and name the person who served you. If possible let the person hear you praise them.
62. Return your shopping cart to the store and offer to take someone else’s too.
63. Purchase lemonade from a child’s lemonade stand.
64. Set up a lemonade stand and donate profits to charity.
65. Shop at a garage sale and don’t haggle on the prices.
66. Shop local.
67. Forgive someone.
68. Like your favorite blog’s Facebook page, sign up for their email, and share the blog with your network. (I am partial to and highly recommend Little Merry Sunshine).
69. Treat a coworker or friend or family member to coffee.
70. Take your significant other’s car for an oil change and fill it up with gas without being asked.
71. Learn your partner’s love language and show them love in their language.
72. Plan a special date night for you and your significant other without your kids and unrelated to birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays. Dress up for each other. If possible, spend the night in a hotel so you can reconnect without the distractions of home. Be fully present. Bonus points if you can take an entire weekend. Involve your partner in the planning. (Extra bonus: Counts as kindness towards your partner and self-care).
73. Instead of cooking up a big holiday meal for you and guests, cook the same meal, package it into individual meal servings along with plastic cutlery, napkins, a bottle of water, and handiwipes, and hit the streets to provide meals to the homeless. Take your wagon because the meals will get heavy.
74. Donate wedding, funeral, or party flowers to a nursing facility or hospital. Arrange it in advance and find out how to best arrange them to be distributed. Don’t make extra work for the staff.
75. When people are gossiping about someone you know, chime in with something nice about that person and steer the conversation away from negativity.
76. Return your library books on time.
77. Ask someone to teach you how to make their “signature dish.”
78. Teach someone how to do something they want to learn that you’re proficient in.
79. Make someone a book of coupons for special time with you, hugs, back rubs, story time, etc.
80. Send a completely random care package to someone you appreciate.
81. Schedule a regular family dinner time. No tv. No electronics. Practice conversation – use conversation starters, if needed.
82. Make an introduction for two people you think would be good friends or business partners.
83. Subscribe to the paper edition of a newspaper
84. Plant a tree.
85. Set the table for dinner without being asked.
86. Make a special table centerpiece for your family’s dinner table.
87. Write your teacher a thank you note.
88. Say hello and smile to people on the street.
89. Donate a toy to Toys for Tots.
90. Donate supplies to your teacher’s classroom. Ask what they need first.
91. Ask for donations to your favorite charity rather than birthday or Christmas gifts
92. Pack food at Feed My Starving Children.
93. Pay the toll of the person behind you.
94. Register to be an organ donor. Make sure your loved ones know that you’ve signed up and put this information into your powers of attorney and health care directive documents.
95. Prepare or update your will, power(s) of attorney, and health care directive documents.
96. Participate in Wreaths Across America.
97. Say “I love you” and mean it.
98. Upcycle something and give it a new purpose.
99. Offer to babysit (for free) and let the parent(s) get out of the house without the kids.
100. Invite someone you don’t know well to join you for lunch.
101. Start a new family tradition.
102. Donate used cards to a charity that recycles cards into new cards.
103. Offer to mentor someone.
104. Become a Big Brother or Big Sister.
105. Draw a picture for your mom or dad.
106. Call a local animal shelter and find out what supplies they need. Set up a drive for those items and donate them.
107. Do not argue or fight with your siblings for an entire day.
108. Serve on a jury willingly. Obviously this depends on whether you get summoned for service and whether you are chosen, but everyone deserves to a fair trial and jurors are an important part of that process. Too many people go out of their way to find excuses to get out of service. Don’t be one of them.
109. Dine at restaurants that serve that support the community. Restaurants like Marche Ferdous in Montreal and the Heartland Cafe in Chicago are great examples. You might also search for restaurants that donate excess food to feed homeless.
110. Help a student out with a school project by taking a survey for a thesis paper, science fair, etc.
111. Send birthday cards. Send actual cards, not emails.
112. Send birthday greetings on Facebook. Send them to all of your Facebook friends, even the ones you aren’t close to.
113. Send Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzza, New Year, or other holiday cards. Send actual cards, not emails.
114. Attend funerals. We attend funerals for the living, to let them know we care about them and are with them in their time of need even if we don’t know the deceased. Maybe especially when we don’t know the deceased.
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
2017 is the Year of Kindness
After a tumultuous 2016, it’s time to get back to basics. And, in my opinion, nothing is more basic than kindness. Kindness to others. Kindness to ourselves. Kindness to our pets. Kindness to our planet.
I am making a new personal commitment to kindness and I invite you to join me. Can you imagine the impact of blanketing the world with kindness for the next 52 weeks? Would we feel better about ourselves and our neighbors? Definitely. Would more people feel part of their communities? Probably. Would we reduce our divisiveness as a country? Possibly. Would we reduce violence in our communities? Possibly.
So let’s talk about performing acts of kindness . . .
How will I spread kindness and how can you participate?
Each week in 2017, let’s do three things:
- Perform an act of kindness for others;
- Perform an act of kindness for ourselves; and
- Hold each other accountable.
Easy right? I’m no fool. I know it’s not going to be easy. We all have complex lives and sometimes best laid plans get derailed. That’s why I’m only suggesting we perform two acts of kindness each week and keep each other accountability. Of course, we can all do more each week, but if we simply focus on one act in each category, I believe we’ll be able to consistently meet the goal.
What about accountability? How can we hold each other accountable?
Tell me you want to participate by commenting on this blog post and share this post far and wide. Follow the Little Merry Sunshine Facebook page, share the page with your friends, and share your acts of kindness on the page. Follow and tweet me. Comment on my blog posts with your ideas and your successes spreading kindness. More than that, I’d love to get together to perform acts of kindness in a group. More on an idea about that in the next few days.
Share stories you hear about kindness with me. I’ll do the same. I’m going to be writing about acts of kindness all year to help keep us motivated, will share stories I see in the media. I’d love to also share your stories, so email me if you’d like to be featured. I’ll also create a kindness page that you’ll find on the top of the Little Merry Sunshine homepage so you can find all of the posts about #Kindness2017.
Wherever you share and discuss kindness, use the hashtag #Kindness2017, so we can all participate.
Okay, I’m in. What’s next?
Over the next two days, I’ll post two lists. The first list will be acts of kindness to perform for others and the second will include acts of self-kindness. Each week, choose one act of kindness from each list and go spread the love. Then report in.
I’m excited about the possibilities 2017 brings with it and I hope you are too. By spreading kindness, I’m sure we’ll make the world a better place.
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back. Plus, my email list is 100% spam-free.
-
My top 10 favorite experiences of 2016
As 2016 quickly draws to a close, I need to stop and reflect upon the joy I felt this year. In fact, especially this year.
By just about every measure, 2016 was a difficult year for many people. Generation X lost many of our pop culture idols; a presidential election went wonky at the last minute causing great distress by the majority of people in the country who did not vote for the winner; although we keep hearing that the economy is strong, the unemployment rate is 4.6% down from a high of 10.2% in October 2009 in the midst of the Great Recession, and the Dow Jones Index closed 2016 at 19,762.60 more than double where it closed on out 2008, many people are still struggling financially; war continues to happen both on the ground in Syria and elsewhere and via cyber attacks.
I refuse to get lost in the negativity of this year. Yes, my year wasn’t the greatest, but I have a lot to be thankful for and created many incredible memories. These are my top 10 favorite experiences of 2016 in no particular order.
[placegallery]
Many of my esteemed colleagues at ChicagoNow have recapped their 2016 experiences. Read their posts at You Know Neen, Hammervision, a second recap post at Hammervision, Lipstick, Lollipops, & Life, Listing Beyond Forty, I’ve Got the Hippy Shakes, Chirish Chatter, Between Us Parents, Conveniently Green, I Got a Dumpster Family, Being Catholic . . . Really, The Shiny Side, Quilting Sewing Creating, and The Mainville Report: Dispatches From My Couch.
Like you, I don’t know what 2017 will bring. What I do know is that I am renewing my focus and my blog’s focus on kindness and I’ll be detailing the plans over the next week. It’s my hope that this focus on kindness will be something you and I can do together and I invite you to join me.
All in all, 2016 was a mixed bag that I’m happy to see go. May 2017 bring us each good health, happiness, prosperity, love, and an abundance of kindness.
What are your favorite experiences of 2016?
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
All the cool kids sign up for the email to alert them of new posts and follow LMS on social media:
Click here to sign up for Little Merry Sunshine emails. You’ll love them. I promise or your money back.
-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Jessica L Gardner 