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Hate the election results? Get politically active. It’s easier than you think.
In the two weeks since we elected a new President of the United States, I’ve walked through the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, but our new president has shown that his values don’t align with mine. I’m not going to rehash all of the reasons I find our new leader deplorable because, if you’ve read Little Merry Sunshine for more than 5 minutes, you know why. Frankly, I’m worried, but that’s an issue for another post.
Our country is divided. President-elect Trump won the Electoral College, but as of yesterday, lost the Popular Vote by 1.5 million votes, with more votes still to be counted. Based on everything we know about the areas where ballots are still being counted, that 1.5 million vote difference is expected to grow.
Setting aside the allegations of corruption, racism, misogny, xenophobia, fraud, gross incompetence, and more that surround our president-elect and the administration he’s forming, two questions have been weighing on my mind for two weeks now:
- What can we do to heal the rift between our fellow countrymen and women?
- What kind of world do we want?
I think the answers to both questions involve getting politically active. Excuses like “I hate politics,” “all politicians are corrupt,” and “the system is rigged” are all slightly more polite ways of saying “I don’t want to be bothered.”
Okay, I get that. We’re all busy. You’re working multiple jobs or way more than 40 hours each week at one job for no additional pay. You’ve got kids and all of their activities. You’ve got a crazy commute. You’re caring for an elderly parent or disabled child. You’ve got your own health challenges.
Government, and by extension politics, impacts each of those things. If you care about education, elder care, disability rights, civil rights, health insurance, snow plowing, pay equity, living wages, or a host of other things, you must care about politics and the role government plays in all of our lives.
There are many ways to get your voice heard, some of which require significant time and effort, while others do not.
Off the top of my head, here are some of my favorite ways to get politically active.
- Join your local political party, attend meetings, volunteer, and donate money to support their grassroots efforts.
- Register to vote. Seriously. It’s super easy. Illinois has Motor Voter Registration, you can register online here, or contact me because I’m a Deputy Registrar and would be honored to help you register.
- Vote in every single election. Always. Especially in the local elections. Illinois allows voters to vote by mail, vote early in-person, or vote on Election Day at their polling place. To vote by mail or to vote early, you don’t need a reason. Just request a ballot and mail it back before the deadline or show up at on of the early voting locations in your town or county. If you think your vote doesn’t count, Hillary Clinton lost Michigan by approximately 11,500 votes. I say approximately because Michigan hasn’t officially been called for Donald Trump yet. My town has 19,000 residents. Think about that.
- Become a Deputy Registrar and help get people registered to vote. I did it. You can too. Registering people to vote takes as much or as little time as you’re willing to give.
- Serve as an Election Judge (search for your county or click here for Cook County). It pays, although not much. No one does it for the money.
- Join a bipartisan coffee/lunch/breakfast group that discusses current local issues and politics.
- Listen to disenting opinions and attempt to put yourself in the speaker’s shoes.
- Examine your own privilege and become aware of how your privilege creates your blind spots. The vast majority of us have some privilege, even if it takes some soul searching to figure it out. Once you know what your blind spots are, work to change them.
- Get active in your local schools (even if you don’t have kids): attend board meetings, join and participate in the PTA.
- Join a local civics organization – Lions, Rotary, Freemasons, Knights of Columbus, League of Women Voters, etc.
- Subscribe to your local newspaper, even if you can read it online for free. I subscribed to the New York Times online this morning. The daily paper version is out of my budget at the moment, but I will also be subscribing to my local paper.
- Write letters to the editor.
- Join and donate to organizations that support human rights and combat hate groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center, the Human Rights Campaign, and the Anti-Defamation League.
- Know who your elected officials are – at all levels – and write and call them about issues you care about. Attend their town hall meetings in person and on the phone. Sign up for their newsletters so you know what they’re doing.
- Volunteer for political campaigns – knock on doors, participate in get out the vote efforts, make phone calls, and host coffees for your candidates. Campaigns love all volunteers. No matter how much or how little time you have, they have work for you to do.
- Place political yard signs in your yard during elections.
- Attend political rallies.
- Attend debates for local elected officials. They’re not typically televised, so the only way to know what happens is to attend in person.
- Join a local commission or task force. There are many local commissions that are appointed by mayors. These include police and fire commissions, planning commissions, and more. Learn about them and get involved. Joining a commission or task force will give you influence into how your community is run without the pressure of being an elected official.
- Run for office. Start small. Run for a local board. Many people aspire to nothing higher than a local school board and that’s fantastic. Every community needs dedicated boards and these boards (library, park district, school, etc.) wield an incredible amount of influence.
- Get your news from more than one source with more than one bias. If you only read or watch one media outlet, you are getting a myopic view of the world. When you open yourself up to more than one source of news, especially if one of those is contrary to your personal beliefs, you’ll not only have a more balanced viewpoint, but you’ll better understand what other people are thinking.
- Start a petition – either online (change.org and We the People at the White House are great sites – just check for existing petitions about your issue before creating a new one)or go door-to-door. When I was about 7 or 8 years old, my park district suddenly stopped flooding the tennis courts at our park eliminating the skating rink I skated at every winter. I wrote up a petition, walked around my neighborhood, explained my position to my neighbors, asked them to sign my petition, and presented it to my park district board. I lost my fight to bring back the ice skating rink, but it was a good lesson in how to get things done.
- Join the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). It’s a non-partisan organization that serves to protect the civil rights of all Americans.
On Friday after distributing a dozen Homeless Helper Bags, I joined a group of thoughtful, conscientious men and women who represented many parts of the political spectrum to discuss where to go from here since the election. Some worked in politics and some didn’t. What they all had in common was their deep desire to make the world better. The conversation was civil and all view points were listened to. It wasn’t a bitch fest. It was an opportunity to discuss the issues that affect us all. Being part of that lunchtime discussion group made me start to feel better about the election.It was a privilege to join this group and I hope to be invited back in December.
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Homeless Helper Bags: 2016 edition
This past Friday I hopped on the train with a bag full of Homeless Helper Bags to distribute before meeting a friend for lunch.
If you’re not familiar with my annual preparation and distribution of Homeless Helper Bags, please read this post before continuing. I’ll wait.
Back? Great. Read on . . .
12 Homeless Helper Bags containing toiletries, socks, gloves, hand and foot warmers, snacks, and peanut butter & strawberry preserves sandwiches. Once again, I’d collected supplies all year and made a peanut butter and strawberry preserves sandwich (bread was on sale at Jewel for 99 cents a loaf!) for each bag. I had prepared 12 bags thinking they would last me most of the day. My plan was to pass out bags to the first 12 people I saw and to attempt to engage in a short conversation with each of them because I believe that genuine interaction another person is at least as vital as a few toiletries and sandwich.
I was barely outside of Ogilvie Transportation Center on Madison before I saw a homeless woman with two small children. They were leaned up against a building, sitting on the ground and my heart broke for the first time that day. The woman had a sign asking for help, not money, just help. Naturally, I gave them three bags and had a short conversation with the mom. Looking into her eyes and those of her children, I worried about where they’d spend the night. Although it was about 68 degrees and sunny at that moment, I knew that by early afternoon, the rains would come and by early evening, the temperatures would drop into the 40s, if not lower.
Crossing the Lyric Opera Bridge, I saw a discarded Homeless Helper Bag (not one of mine) on the ground and suddenly wondered if my efforts were a generous gift of help or a way to assuage my own feelings of unearned privilege. Do the bags I so carefully curate to insure parity and usefulness actually make a difference to the recipients or do they just make me feel good?
I continued walking towards State Street on Madison stopping each time I saw a homeless person to give them a bag and chat about the contents (toiletries, socks, gloves, a sandwich, and snacks), my hope that the bags provided them some relief, and my wish that things would turn around for them. Each person I spoke with was grateful for lunch and appreciative for a moment of non-judgmental conversation. Some even looked at the bags in awe, seemingly surprised that someone took the time to think of them and their needs rather than just tossing coins at them, but not really seeing them.
Of the 12 homeless people I spoke with and gave Homeless Helper Bags to, there was one woman and her two children under 5 years old and nine men. They represented all races; two or three were in wheelchairs; one sold Streetwise; and although most appeared to be in their 50s or 60s, the mom appeared to be in her 30s and one other man appeared to be in his early 20s.
My 12 bags were gone in less than 30 minutes and I only made it to LaSalle Street – a total of five blocks. I could have easily brought another two or three dozen bags. I will next time.
After handing out my last bag, I found myself standing in front of St. Peter’s Catholic Church so I walked in to sit, meditate, and journal about my experience passing out Homeless Helper Bags. I prayed for the homeless people I’d met, that they’d find a warm place to sleep that night, remained safe, and got the help they needed to get off the streets. As I journaled, I saw each of the faces of the men and women I’d met that morning and suddenly remembered the adage about acts of kindness not changing the world, but changing one person’s world. If I accomplished nothing else, I hope that the people I met that morning went to sleep that night knowing that one person genuinely cares about them because I really do.
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Top secret plan to defeat Donald Trump
As a member of the criminal lame stream media, it is imperative that I report on a conspiracy at the highest levels. This plan is so nefarious that it could change the course of the 2016 Presidential Election and cause Hillary Clinton to defeat Donald Trump. It permeates every level of the government and every single American, from kindergartners to 108 year-old-women who want to die, but can’t until after November 8th.
Some might even claim that this plan is causing the election to be “rigged” against Donald Trump.
Simple research has turned up facts proving that the conspiracy goes back 228 years. What happened 228 years ago? The Constitution of the United States was officially ratified on June 21, 1788. The plan was again put into action in later years with the ratification of the 12th Amendment, 14th Amendment, 15th Amendment, 19th Amendment, 24th Amendment, and the 26th Amendment. I’m telling you this plan goes deep.
What is this plan?
To defeat Donald Trump, you must vote for Hillary Clinton.
And you must do it today before 5:00 p.m., if you live in a state that allows early voting, or tomorrow at your local polling place.
You cannot vote for Ron Johnson or Jill Stein or Evan McMullin. You cannot vote for any of the 1,779 other presidential candidates who may appear on your local ballot. You cannot write in your own candidate.
You must vote for Hillary Clinton.
I suppose that if you live in a state that is safely in her column, you might think it would be okay to cast a protest vote and vote for someone other than Hillary. It’s not. Yes, ultimately the election is decided by the Electoral College, but the popular vote matters too. Winning both the popular vote and the Electoral College are the goals.
You must vote for Hillary Clinton.
If you vote for anyone other than Hillary Clinton, it decreases the margin between her and Donald Trump. Depending upon how many people cast these “protest votes” for third party candidates, it could actually cause more ballots to be cast for Donald Trump than for Hillary. The more states where Donald Trump wins more votes than Hillary, the more Electoral College Votes he will get. Too many Electoral College votes for Donald Trump and he will be the 45th President of the United States. We cannot have this.
The only way to defeat Donald Trump and to send a message that his misogynistic, xenophobia, racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, and abilist campaign is unacceptable is to vote for Hillary Clinton. It is not what the United States stands for. We are better than his hate.
Show Donald Trump that the election is rigged with educated, progressive, value-driven voters who reject his platform of hate.
Vote for Hillary Clinton.
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If I could do it all over again, I’d have become a lawyer
Yesterday a friend of mine posted on Facebook about that it had been 19 years since Princess Diana was killed. Nineteen years I thought. Where have those years gone?
The night of Princess Diana’s death began like many Saturday nights that summer: I was at home in my Alexandria, Virginia apartment studying for the LSAT, which I was planning to take that fall. Around 11:00 or midnight, I decided to take a break and I flipped on CNN only to discover that the People’s Princess had been in a fatal car crash in Paris. Needless to say, I never resumed studying that night and probably never even made it to bed.
I’d wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I could remember. The entire reason I moved to Washington, D.C. after college was to pursue my passion of politics and to enter the legal world. Ya, I was pretty much a nerd. I still am. In 1997, I’d been a paralegal for four years, three years past when I’d initially planned to go to law school. I loved the work I did as a paralegal because I worked on interesting civil litigation cases and periodically cite checked briefs headed for the Supreme Court. I loved being able to dig into legal research and find evidence and legal precedent to back up our arguments and I was finally ready to put that passion into action as a lawyer.
A few weeks after Princess Diana’s death I took the LSATs and my life changed forever.
In the middle of the test, I had a panic attack. My chest started pounding and felt like it was trying to break out of my body. I couldn’t breath. I was sweating profusely. And I didn’t know how to stop it. Today I know how to bring myself out of a panic attack, but at 26, I didn’t have a clue because I’d only had one or two panic attacks and it didn’t occur to me that there was a way cut them short or even prevent them when I realized one was coming.
I went home from the test feeling defeated. I’d spent the entire summer studying, even during my week at Watervale. I’d taken countless practice exams. I’d taken the Kaplan test prep class. This was the moment I’d prepared for for months and years and I’d blown it. I knew that with my score from that day I would never be accepted to law school, so I did the only thing I could think of: I cancelled my test score. This meant that my test wasn’t scored and there was no record of me having taken it. The good news was that when I was ready, I could take it a second time and no one would see what I could only imagine was the worst score in history.
Ultimately, I never became a lawyer. Not because I stopped loving the law or even because I choked so badly on the LSAT. I never became a lawyer because, after the test, I began paying close attention to the lawyers I worked with and the lives they were living. I saw them all working 80 plus hours a week at a huge corporate firm, and although they earned enough money to pay off their law school debt and still live quite comfortably, many of them had very little life outside of the firm.
Many of my lawyer friends were unable to sustain relationships, put their kids to bed over the phone and read them stories from the duplicate copies of Little Golden Books they kept in their desks, and worked through their vacations, if they took them at all.
That wasn’t the life I wanted. Sheryl Sandberg would say that I leaned out at that point because I gave up a career I’d wanted my entire life for a family I wasn’t even close to having (and that has never materialized). I would say that I was already working insane hours and simply decided that I didn’t want that to be my entire life.
As I reflected on the 19 years since Princess Diana’s death yesterday, I began to wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t given up on my dream. Would I have stayed in Washington and never moved back to Chicago? Would I be a partner or a judge now? Would I have gone on to pursue a career as a social justice lawyer? Would I have met my husband in law school and gone on to have children with him?
I don’t know any of the answers to those questions, but if I had it to do all over again, I’d have fought through my panic attacks, put aside my fears, taken the LSAT again, and become a lawyer.
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This post is part of ChicagoNow‘s monthly Blogapalooza exercise where Community Manager, Jimmy Greenfield, emails all ChicagoNow bloggers a topic at 9:00 p.m. and we have one hour to write and publish our post. Tonight’s topic was:
“Write about something in your life you’d like a second chance at.”
To read all of the posts written by ChicagoNow bloggers on this topic, click here.
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Final step in learning to paddle board: celebrate success
In my blog post, Learning to paddle board: A gentle reminder of life lessons on success, yesterday, I forgot a crucial element of success. Frankly, it’s a little embarrassing that I left out the final step, but I did. I suppose my only excuse is that after my 8-month hiatus, I’ve gotten a little rusty at this whole blogging thing.
Without further ado, the final element of success is . . .
9. Celebrate your success! I don’t mean just the big success when you’ve achieved a big goal; I mean that you’ve got to celebrate all of the small successes along the way. There’s no need to throw a party each time you reach a new level of success, but it’s vital to give yourself an internal high five or pat on the back.
As I was learning to paddle board, each time I got a little better, I gave myself a silent “yes!” in my head. The first time I got out past the second buoy on my own, I hollered back to Dave, “hey! did you see what I did?”
When I mastered the art of turning around after paddling to the second buoy and making it back to shore without falling down, a woman on the beach who had been watching me clapped and I let myself revel in it for a moment before I headed back out to do it again. I had fallen countless times and this was a huge accomplishment. Letting myself feel great about it and knowing that others recognized my success helped reinforce that my success wasn’t just a fluke.
After that first loop, I’ll admit that I fell down a few times before I was able to complete a second loop to the second buoy and back. What kept me going? The feeling of the success I felt after my first loop. When I finally completed a second loop successfully, I knew I was unstoppable. I then went on to paddle out past the third buoy, around a motor boat, back to the shore, out and around a sailboat, and back without falling.
And you better believe I celebrated after that.
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Learning to paddle board: A gentle reminder of life lessons on success
As I do every August, I spent last week at Watervale. As my dear friend Woodlawn Wonder has dubbed it, Watervale is my “ancestral family home.” It’s not, but it might as well be because there’s no other place I feel at peace or as connected to myself. I’m also the third of four generations of my family to vacation there. Simply put, Watervale is my personal slice of Heaven.
As always, my 10 days flew by. I kayaked, read four books, hung out with friends I’ve had for 30 plus years but only see in August, watched the Persiads meteor shower, did some hiking, napped, ate delicious food, visited the Upper Peninsula for the first time, picked blueberries, shopped at a couple of roadside farm stands, watched gorgeous sunsets, played in Lake Michigan, watched Dave kite board, and meditated. It was obviously a miserable trip and I had no fun whatsoever.
For the past few years I’ve wanted to learn to paddle board, but for one reason or another, it hasn’t fit into the week. This year, however, I was not going to be stopped. On Sunday afternoon, Dave and I grabbed Linda’s paddle board and headed over to Crystal Lake where in less than 90 minutes I conquered paddle boarding and cruised around the lake on my own.
In the process of learning to paddle board, I realized that my success in learning to paddle board required the same skills as being successful in life and business.
I successfully navigated this turn without getting the fin stuck on the ropes. How? I’m so glad you asked . . .
- Find a coach you respect who respects you, as well. If your coach doesn’t treat you with respect and dignity, keep his/her word, understand his/her own weaknesses, and is unable to meet you where you’re at, find a new coach. My coach in learning to paddle board was my brother Dave, a master kite boarder, kayaker, wind surfer, paddle boarder, and very strong swimmer. I respect his knowledge, skills, and general acumen for sports on the water. Dave knows the kind of feedback that I respond best to and he gives his feedback in that manner. When teaching me a new skill or helping me push myself to achieve a goal, he’s never belittled me or given me grief because I don’t have his natural athletic abilities.
- Be coachable. I was open to learning and improving, never took Dave’s feedback personally, and took immediate action on his feedback. On the flip side, Dave gave actionable feedback that let me know what I was doing well and how to improve without attacking me. He didn’t wait until I’d fallen down 10 times to share how I could improve.
- Ask for feedback that’s immediate and actionable. “Great job!” or “you need to get better” isn’t feedback when you’re learning a new skill or trying to build an existing muscle. While I may be able to quickly interpret the former, odds are good that I’m not going to know exactly what it takes to “get better.” Dave would say things like, “Great job in getting up on the board. Now try shifting your left foot forward a couple of inches so that your feet are parallel and you can more easily balance your weight and remain on the board.” From this statement, I know exactly what I did well and how to improve.
- Remember that Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down. If you are a Gen Xer, like I am, you remember Weebles. If you aren’t a Gen Xer, I’m sorry, but you can learn about Weebles here. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I fell off the paddle board and it doesn’t matter. What matters is that each time I fell off the board, I popped right back up and tried it again.
- Be confident. The importance of self-confidence cannot be overstated. As I was trying to master paddle boarding, I could feel that the moment my confidence waned, I’d fall off the board. When a wave came towards me, as long as I stayed strong in my conviction that I knew how to navigate the wave and stay on the board, I was fine and I’d stay up, but when I doubted my ability, I’d fall. I wasn’t arrogant; I was confident. Sometimes I actually (quietly) talked myself through the wave. “I know what I’m doing,” “breathe,” and “stay perpendicular to the current” were frequently repeated to myself.
- Be fully present. Research tells us that multitasking makes us less efficient and reduces our performance. In my own life, when I’m fully present, I learn and work faster and my accuracy is close to 100%. When I’m not fully present, I miss things and I make mistakes. As I was learning to paddle board, I blocked out all distractions and focussed only on my immediate task at hand. I wasn’t playing on my phone. I didn’t pay attention to the people on the beach and worry that they were laughing at me (they weren’t). I barely noticed the storm clouds that began to threaten my fun; I only paid enough attention to them to listen for thunder and lightning.
- Look forward, not backwards. When I was first trying to get up on the paddle board, I kept looking at my feet and kept falling off the board. I might get up and paddle 10 feet or so, but I’d fall very quickly. Dave suggested I keep my head up and my eyes focussed on what was in front of me rather than on my feet. As soon as I made this change, I was able to paddle further. Once Dave yelled an instruction to me when I was about 50 feet away from him. I turned my head towards him and immediately fell off the board. From that moment on, when he’d yell an instruction to me, I kept my eyes looking ahead and made the adjustment he suggested without turning my body. This enabled me to keep moving forward even as I changed my approach.
- Focus on what’s going right. To me, this is simply common sense. In anything in life, if I focus only on what I’m doing wrong, inevitably, I keep repeating my mistakes and I never move forward. When I focus on repeating what I’m doing right, I move forward an achieve success. Dave knows that about me and tailored his feedback to help me focus on what I’m doing well. Rather than barking at me because I kept falling off the board (spoiler alert: every newbie paddle boarder does this), he would say things like “you stayed up longer that time” or “you did a great job of making more subtle adjustments rather than making sudden big moves.” That’s not to say that he didn’t tell me what I did wrong, but he didn’t harp on it.
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My next chapter is at Bernie’s Book Bank
After a long and winding search, I have officially begun the next chapter of my life as the new Event Manager at Bernie’s Book Bank in Lake Bluff.
If you’re not familiar with Bernie’s Book Bank, its mission is to “collect, process, and distribute new and gently used children’s books to significantly increase book ownership among at-risk infants, toddlers and school-age children throughout Chicagoland.“
Pretty cool, huh?
In 2009, Brian Floriani (my boss) founded Bernie’s Book Bank in his garage and distributed 140,000 books in its first year. In just six years, Bernie’s Book Bank has now distributed more than 4.9 million books to over 110,000 at-risk children in the Chicago Area. After starting in Brian’s garage, Bernie’s Book Bank quickly moved into a 5,000 square foot Processing Center and last month moved into a 35,000 square foot Processing Center.
Brian launched Bernie’s Book Bank in honor of his late father, Dr. Bernard P. Floriani, who was the son of a coal miner and grew up without running water until he went to college. The one thing he did have was constant access to books. Dr. Floriani went on graduate college, earn a master’s degree, and earn a doctorate in reading education. He understood the power of children owning books because books literally changed his life and moved him from poverty to the middle class in one generation.
In my first two days (I started yesterday), I’ve watched numerous volunteer groups of all ages and abilities come into the Bernie’s Book Bank Processing Center to help sort, sticker, and bag books for distribution for children throughout the Chicago Area. Yesterday, when I’m sure many people were sleeping in and enjoying a day off of school or work, Bernie’s Book Bank was packed with volunteer groups of children from mid-morning until I went home at 5:00. Some brought books to donate and some simply donated their time. Although not quite as busy with volunteers, it seemed like every time I walked through the Processing Center today, there were a numerous volunteers helping Bernie’s Book Bank fulfill its mission.
My job, as the Event Manager at Bernie’s Book Bank, is to facilitate rentals of our event spaces. Bernie’s Book Bank has multiple event spaces that were designed to accommodate groups from fewer than 10 to 300 and more. The spaces can be used for corporate events, weddings, mitzvahs, birthday parties, community events, and much more. Catering is done exclusively by John des Rosiers, owner of WISMA, Inovasi, and The Other Door in Lake Bluff. I think that the best part of holding an event at Bernie’s Book Bank is the opportunity to have both a volunteer and event experience. Have fun and give back.
In addition to renting the Bernie’s Book Bank event spaces, I’m also responsible for facilitating three annual fundraising events: the Birdies and Books Charity Golf Classic and two Book Lovers’ Lunches with famous authors.
I’m looking forward to the challenges and opportunities that come from creating a role from scratch. Because Bernie’s Book Bank moved from the 5,000 square foot facility to the new 35,000 square foot Processing Center just last month, the ability to host events is brand new and it means that I’m creating the processes and designing much of my job from scratch.
I’m also excited to begin this new chapter in my life as the Events Manager at Bernie’s Book Bank (see what I did there?) because it helps me fulfill my personal mission of helping others change their lives. Having grown up with an abundance of books and being read to every night until my parents were hoarse, remembering my mom teach remedial reading, and seeing how in spite of endless reading to David my mom had to call on her remedial reading teaching skills to help him overcome his reading difficulties, I know that books and reading change lives.
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The Gardner Family Cookbook: The best Christmas gift I’ve ever given
I love Christmas.
I love the traditions. I love going to church at Christmas. I love the family time. I love the holiday parties. I love sending Christmas cards. I love receiving Christmas cards. I love picking out the perfect gifts for the people I love. And I love receiving gifts.
When it comes to gift giving, my favorite gifts to give are experiences. None of us needs more stuff and research shows that experiences bring more happiness than material possessions. When I do give material gifts, I work hard to ensure they’re gifts the recipients will cherish for years to come. I want them to be personal and meaningful, but not cheesy.
On July 4th, while hanging out at my aunt and uncle’s house, I floated the idea of creating a Gardner Family Cookbook and giving it to my dad’s siblings and their adult children a Christmas gift. The idea was initially met with hesitation and a little mocking from my dad, who doesn’t cook, but I persisted and began sending out email requests looking for everyone’s favorite recipes. I also asked for stories that went along with the recipes or related photos. I was also hoping someone had recipes belonging to my Gardner Grandmother, Peg.
As the months moved on, recipes began to slowly trickle in. My dad, who initially laughed at the idea, even sent me random texts that said things like, “Grandma used to make an open faced hamburger sandwich. Hope this helps for the cookbook!” Um, ya. Each time he sent me one of these cryptic text messages, I went in search of the recipe and each time I was rewarded with either the recipe or enough information to find a similar recipe online.
My Aunt Barb had made a cookbook for her kids, Peter and Anna, when they each got married, and she sent me all of those recipes. My Aunt Connie had recipes that belonged to my grandmother. She also shared recipes and the stories behind them from my late Uncle Ray. Cousin Andrea submitted the most important recipe of them all – Grandma’s Cocktail. Peg liked her cocktails and taught us all to make them at an early age.
Recipes came with photos and stories that put great context around the food and drink. The cookbook that I hoped would have 20 or 30 recipes was ultimately filled with 100 recipes and was 50 pages in length. It includes recipes from almost every member of the family, plus my late grandmother, my grandfather’s late sister, and in-laws. I divided the cookbook into sections: Appetizers and Snacks; Salads and Salad Dressings; Entrees; Side Dishes; Desserts and Other Baked Goods; and Beverages. Each section title page has a family photo on it.
Although I’d always had a vision of what the cookbook would look like, the finished product was far better than I’d ever imagined. A book that I hoped would celebrate some of our favorite recipes turned into a Gardner Family History Lesson.
I’d encourage everyone to take on this project. Yes, it’s a bit of work and time consuming, but it’s incredibly rewarding. To make it easier, encourage your relatives to send you as many recipes as possible in Word, so you can just copy/paste them into your master document. Find out who has Grandma’s frayed cookbook with her handwritten notes in the margins or her recipe cards and get them scanned and emailed to you. Including recipes from across the generations helps create the history, even if they’re not recipes anyone makes anymore. I loved learning about the dishes Grandma Gardner cooked for her family, even if I’d never make them myself. I printed the cookbook at FedEx Office with a spiral binding, although websites like Blurb might be a good option for you, as well.
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Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
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How I’ll spend my $900 million Powerball lottery winnings tonight
SUNDAY MORNING UPDATE:
I WON!!!!! I am RICH! I matched one number on a white ball and the red Powerball number! That means I’ve won $4.00. The only question I have now is whether to take it in one lump sum or take it in equal payments of 13.3¢ per year for the next 30 years. I’ve placed phone calls to my accountant, financial advisor, and lawyer to provide me with their expert guidance – it’s what I pay them for, after all.
You may be concerned that now that I’m a member of the Nouveau Riche Class (it just sounds so glorious and fancy!), that I’ll change. I won’t. I’ll still scoop the cat litter everyday and put my stockings on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. I’ve also decided that I’ll stay in my condo and not purchase MJ’s house . . . yet.
Original post:
At 10:59 p.m. ET tonight, five numbered white balls and one numbered red ball will be drawn from drums of 69 and 26 balls, respectively, in the twice weekly multi-state Powerball game. To win the Powerball jackpot, you must match the numbers on all five white balls plus the Powerball number on the red ball.
When the numbers are drawn, millions of people across the country will be holding their collective breaths, crossing their fingers, prayers, rubbing their lucky rabbits, and doing whatever else they believe will bring them good luck and reward them with riches beyond their wildest expectations.
Because there hasn’t been a Powerball winner since November 4, 2015. That’s 18 drawings. Each time there is no winner, the jackpot rolls over to the next drawing date. That’s how we’ve gotten to a Powerball jackpot of $900 million tonight.
I have never played a lottery in my life, but I was out with friends this morning and decided that today would be the day I played. I laid down $10 and bought five tickets, letting the computer choose my numbers, which I’ve heard increases my odds of winning.
Standing in line at Woodman’s Market in Kenosha, we all chatted about what we’d do if we won.
Here’s my plan.
First, I will hire a lawyer to protect my interests and keep the scammers at bay. I already have mine on speed dial.
Second, I will take the money over my lifetime rather than in one lump sum payment because, according to Tech Insider, taking my winnings in a lump sum payment reduces my winnings by $342 million immediately and before taxes. I’ve just won almost $1 BILLION and I’m not going to piss away close to 40% of that.
Third, before I have to cough up a lot of my money to taxes, I’m going to give $100 million to my alma mater, Lake Forest College. We’ll name a building or the school after me. Maybe I’ll endow every single faculty and staff position. So now, the President will be the “Jessica L. Gardner President of Lake Forest College”; a math professor will be the “Jessica L. Gardner Associate Professor of Mathematics”; and my friend Stacy, who is currently the Associate Director of Residence Life for Student Success will now be the “Jessica L. Gardner Associate Director of Residence Life for Student Success.” Whatever we decide to do with my donation, it will something modest and not showy, obviously.
Fourth, I’ll use $300 million to set up the Gardner Family Foundation, which will be a 501(c)3 non-profit to provide financial assistance to children and families on the cusp of financial ruin. The foundation staff will follow the news and social media, looking for people who are suffering a financial crisis, but who would not qualify for government assistance or would not qualify yet. There are many people who lose a job and need help with a mortgage payment or insurance premium payments or need money to buy school supplies for their kids and we would provide that help. We would also periodically pay off layaways at Walmart and Kmart and pass out supplies to people living on the streets. Ideally, this assistance will be given anonymously. In order to maintain the foundation into perpetuity, the foundation would be limited to spending a portion of the dividends each year, reinvesting the remaining dividends in order to grow the funds.
Fifth, from my remaining $500 million, I’ll pay 38% or $198 million in federal taxes and 5% or $25 million in Illinois state income taxes. Although I don’t like paying taxes, I will have mitigated my tax burden with my charitable giving, and knowing that my taxes will pay for things like roads, schools, and the social safety net, I’ll sleep well at night.
With my final $277 million, I’ll divide it equally among my mom, dad, brother, and myself. We’ll each get $69.25 million, before taxes, which I think we’ll manage to scrape by on. Naturally, I’ll set up each trust fund so that each family member can only live off the interest and dividends each year and not dip into the principal of their trusts. My parents will also be required to stipulate that when they pass away, my brother and I will equally split their trusts. My brother’s trust can either go to his spouse and children or revert back to me should he pass away before me.
My new house. Don’t worry. I’ll keep the gates. © Jessica L. Gardner Now that I’ve got $69.25 million for myself, I’ll set up trust funds for Sammy and Zoey. I’ll also purchase and mostly redecorate Michael Jordan’s house in Highland Park. Don’t worry, I’ll keep the gates and leave the basketball court alone and I’ll open the athletic portion of the home as a summer day camp for special needs kids. I’ll hire two staff members to work for me – a chef and a massage therapist. Most of my time will be spent running the Gardner Family Foundation, but I’ll also travel regularly. I’ll also buy a new car, probably a Tesla.
If I disappear for a few days after the drawing tonight, just know that I’m busy setting up my empire. I’ll be back though. Oh, and I know ALL of my long lost cousins, so please don’t contact me for a loan.
What are your plans if you win the $900 million Powerball lottery tonight?
Do you enjoy reading Little Merry Sunshine? Of course you do.
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How to create DIY holiday gift tags by recycling holiday cards
If you’re anything like me, you are lovingly inundated with holiday cards each year. In fact, for me, my very favorite time to check my mailbox is between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day when I receive cards from friends and family around the world sharing photos of their kids and stories of their adventures from the year.
I treasure each card and sit down each night to read them for a trip down memory lane and to catch up. Yes, there’s an argument that Facebook and email have rendered holiday cards useless, but I disagree. Facebook posts are fleeting, but holiday cards, like letters, create our history.
I’m one of the folks who hangs onto certain cards throughout the years. I save the photo cards showing the lives of my loves ones over the years. I save the cards with especially poignant handwritten messages. I save the truly unique cards. And I save the cards with the annual newsletters.
But what about the rest of the cards? The cards that are just signed or signed by the printer and don’t hold any special significance? It’s not that they’re not special to me, but they just don’t rise to the level of cards I save. I hate the idea of throwing these cards away or into the recycling bin.
I could gather up these cards and send them to the St. Jude’s Ranch (not affiliated with St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital) Recycled Card Program, which I’m certain is a great cause and teaches kids valuable life lessons in recycling, entrepreneurship, and basic job skills.
However, I choose to recycle my cards myself by turning them into DIY holiday gift tags. This saves me money by not having to buy holiday gift tags, make my gifts prettier with a festive gift tag, reduces my carbon footprint by decreasing what I toss into landfills or send to the recycling center, and still honors the thoughtfulness of card sender by reusing their card and letting someone else see the beauty of the card.
Making holiday gift tags is simple and can involve your kids (if you trust them with scissors).
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Jessica L Gardner 